Don't Cry Because It's Over. Laugh Because It Happened.

If there is one thing in this world that I hate above all other things, it's saying goodbye. I've had to do it so many times, and it's so difficult to know that you're not going to see a person in a very very long time... if ever. It started my sophomore summer when my senior friends left. I really had no time to say goodbye and suddenly they were gone. Just like that. Sure, most of them have come back to say hi, but some haven't. And some never knew that I cared enough about them to really ache in their absence. And, oh, do I ache! I look back at the journal entries I had written during my sophomore year and it just pains my stomach to remember all these people that I'll never see again. That feeling is stronger than ever now. Why? Because not only have I seen some of those old friends again, who have come back for the summer, but now I also have new friends who have just graduated last June. All of them are leaving. I don't know when they will leave. I just know they will sometime soon. And I am so afraid I won't get to say goodbye. I'm so afraid I won't get to spend the time with them that I could have spent. Memories I COULD have had. And the knowledge that my existence might totally disappear from their memories makes it even worse. I want to be missed and remembered and loved and appreciated. But will I be? Probably not as much as I will miss them. Things are really changing. And this change MUST happen. We can't go on forever like this, no matter how much I want it to. I cannot stop this progression. So what do I do about it? I mope. I cry. I act depressed. I become a canker amongst my social circle because I'm so busy dwelling on the future and not living in the present. I wonder how many wonderful moments I've missed because I've been too worried about the end. How many memories could I make if I just relaxed and let go and enjoyed the now? And how much happier would those memories be if I knew I enjoyed them to the fullest? I'd like everyone who is reading this to know that when the time comes when our paths separate, I LOVE YOU. And I will MISS you, terribly. Even if we did not know each other well, you leave behind a presence that does not disappear and that can't ever fully be replaced. I have trouble forgetting people I knew in the past -- even people I never knew well -- because I let them become so much of what I am. To those I did know well, there is no end to the grief that I feel at our parting.My heart is full of regret that I didn't say hi to you that one time, or laugh more at that one joke you made, or be at that one party with you. There is so much more I could have done to show you how much you mean in my life, but I missed it. I was a coward. I was a fool. And now I'm paying for it. I apologize, particularly to those in theater, to whom this note pertains the most, that I have been such a pessimist these last few weeks. It's so hard to look upon the faces of my graduated friends and not see that soon, they will all be gone. But from now on, I shall try my absolute hardest to cherish and live up these last few weeks God has given me with them so I will have less to regret when they have gone. I want to be able to look back and remember those bonds of friendship and love and support. I will live so I can remember my life with a smile on my face.