A Number of Things

MY BLOG HAS MOVED.

2011-01-08T14:50:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of the new year, I have abandoned all hope of updating multiple blogs so I will now be posting on one blog and one blog only:

It's called THINKING IN COLOR

http://thinking-in-color.blogspot.com/2011/01/okay-lets-try-again.html

I am directing you to this blog for all future posts. I will no longer be posting on this blog. Feel free to visit anytime!! Hopefully I will continue to keep you posted on the continuing story of myself!!

What was LG Wearing at the Grey Label Premiere?

2011-01-08T08:11:00.000-08:00

Sally LaPointe!

I really like this outfit because it's very conscious of her position as creative director. It's a very professional look for Gaga. This outfit is not ostentatious at all. It's conservative and classy. Heck, if I just had a cami to cover that plunging neckline, I'd wear it!

Lady Gaga and Gray Label with Polaroid

2011-01-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

LADY GAGA MEETS POLAROID WITH AMAZING NEW GRAY LABEL DIGITAL CAMERA LINE!!!

Yesterday, Lady Gaga presented to the press her first project with Polaroid since her hire as creative director for the company. This line, called Gray Label, was created in hopes of bringing digital and instant together in what will be known as the Photography of the

21st Century. Three products have been designed: The first-ever digital camera sunglasses, inspired by the video-glasses of Lady Gaga's Fame Ball Tour; a compact and fashionable instant photo printer that can connect to Bluetooth-compatible mobile phones; and the newest digital

instant GL30 Polaroid camera, with a new sleek design and both digital and manual photo capabilities.

This is definitely a great start for Gaga this year. I'm not sure about her outfit that she wore at the press release, but it is one of my favorites.

Congrats Gaga! Keep the magic coming!!

Speaking of the Grammys....

2011-01-06T17:01:00.001-08:00

How about Lady Gaga's red carpet attire?? Armani amazingness!!

Lady Gaga and Elton John

2011-01-05T11:02:00.000-08:00

One of the greatest duos ever. This is them at the Grammys 2010. They sang a medley of "Speechless" and "Your Song" and it was amazing.

"How wonderful life is with Gaga in the world..."

"Thank you, love you, Sir Elton John."

I WILL BLOG EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH. I PROMISE.

2011-01-04T10:06:00.001-08:00

Alright. So I need to blog more. But I keep running into the problem of figuring out what to say. I always thought I was a woman of passions and opinions, but man, my thoughts just don't seem worthy enough to be blogworthy. You know?

So I'm gonna change that. This month I am going to put a focus on my blogs. My focus for this month will be the one thing I KNOW I can talk about for hours:

Yep. You guessed it. Lady Gaga.

I'll just start now before anyone -- including myself -- stops me.

One of my favorite Lady Gaga getups is what is known as "The Living Dress," c

reated by the Haus of Gaga. She wore it at Jonathan Ross's show during her performance of "Brown Eyes" and wears it during the Monster Ball while singing "So Happy I Could Die." It's an amazing dress that

actually moves and has fiber optic lights. Pretty cool.

So here's some pictures/footage of the amazing Living Dress. I know some of you may think Lady Gaga is a total skank, but this dress is a work of art. Really. It's a powerful garment with high-level engineering and technology. To all you haters out there, this dress is worthy of at least some praise and appreciation.

TEN THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN 2011

2011-01-01T08:07:00.000-08:00

2011 is upon us. You know what that means? NEW STUFF:

1. Lady Gaga's Newest Album

Born this Way. Just last night Lady Gaga announced the release dates of both her first single and the record itself. The song "Born this Way" will premiere on Grammy night, (February 13, 2011) and the Album itself will come out May 23rd. Also, keep your ears open for her duet with Elton John for the movie Gnomeo and Juliet, "Hello, Hello," which comes out February 11th.

2. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

The fourth Pirates movie is coming out May 20. Whether you like it or you hate it, you're gonna have to at least see it, right? Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush reunite in the film, along with Penelope Cruz and some other great stars. Sadly, the Will Turner/Elizabeth Swann story has come to an end, and some say the series has gone too long anyway. But this is still another anticipated chapter of Bruckheimer Pirate lore. Stay tuned.

3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II

Yep. Probably the most-anticipated movie of the year. The END of Harry Potter happens July 15. This is the second chapter of the seventh book, which was divided into two movies. The first Deathly Hallows got excellent reviews. Let's see just how epic the end of this fantastic movie series can get!! Midnight premiere, anyone??

4. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn

Yet another if-you-love-it-or-you-hate-it-you-gotta-know-about-it movie. The end of this saga comes out November 18. There have been rumors about breaking this movie up into two parts as well, but as far as I can see, there ain't much for two movies in this final book. I saw Eclipse when it came out last summer, and I must say it was quite the eye-candy fest. And for that, I love it. Let's see just how amazing these attractive men look in the final chapter.

5. Rango

Johnny Depp stars in a western-esque animated movie about the troubles of a Chameleon sheriff. Apparently the animation for this movie uses the same technology as the character Golum in Lord of the Rings. Johnny Depp NOT in a Tim Burton film is always something to look forward to in my book. Keep March 4 in mind, people.

6. New Grayson Chance album

Remember that kid who got famous because of his cover of Paparazzi that was posted on YouTube? Well Ellen Degeneres took that kid under her wing and now he's got an album coming out sometime this year. This kid could be the new Justin Bieber. Maybe.

7. New Within Temptation album

Called The Unforgiving, the album is set to release March 2011. This album is a concept based on a comic book series by Steven O'Connell. If you love Within Temptation like I do, you will keep your ears open for more.

8. ROB THOMAS REJOINS MATCHBOX TWENTY!!

It has been announced on his website that Rob Thomas will be going on tour once again with Matchbox Twenty, starting January first. A new album is also somewhere in the works, though no specific date has been announced.

9. Glee Season 3

Yep. There will be a third season of Glee. Not quite sure when it will start but I'm guessing Fall 2011. Yippeeeee!!!!

10. Justin Bieber's voice change.

It's gonna happen. It's gonna happen.

My Christmas Wish List: Movies, Music, and Media List

2010-11-24T11:37:00.001-08:00

1. Albums, in no particular order:
-- Danger Days: The True Lives of The Fabulous Killjoys -- Clean Version
My Chemical Romance
-- Flamingo
Brandon Flowers
-- Dear Agony
Breaking Benjamin
-- Ocean Eyes
Owl City
-- Number Ones
Michael Jackson

2. Movies, in order of how much I want them:
-- Sherlock Holmes
-- Enchanted
-- Jane Eyre
-- Dead Poet's Society
-- Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
-- Finding Neverland
-- Newsies

3. Sheet Music I Want:
-- Jon Schmidt's Christmas Songbook

4. GLEE Season 1

Willow Smith' Whip My Hair

2010-10-27T19:51:00.000-07:00

I actually REALLY like this video. The song is "eh" but the video is great. Her voice kind of reminds me of Rihanna... She'll probably end up growing up to be a total skank like the rest of those child performers, but here's hoping!

In the meantime, enjoy the video and the joy of being young.

Book on Tape Worm

2010-09-26T16:05:00.001-07:00

THAT'S MY ROOMMATE!!

2010-09-26T16:02:00.000-07:00

A Gleeful Evening

2010-09-23T20:35:00.000-07:00

Season premiere of G eLEE.
What did I think??

Wow. Things got bad in a hurry, didn't they? But that's good! We already have a show in full swing that people will come back to week after week.
Furthermore, the song selection this time around was SO GOOD. I wasn't humungously impressed with the "Telephone" number, but it wasn't bad. My favorite was their version of "Empire State of Mind." I also really liked that new blonde guy's voice. I wonder what happens to him!!
The new football coach, Beiste, was also a great addition. And I'm glad Sue and Schuster aren't friends anymore. What would this show be without ridiculous comments about Schu's hair?

Just one thing missing: WHERE'S EMMA??
I'm sick and tired of the way they just forget about her and her relationship with Will. Where did she go?? Will they ever be together??

I'm excited for next week.

Never Been Kissed

2010-09-19T08:59:00.001-07:00

What a cheesy movie. But it was a good cheesey movie.
Drew Barrymore is a funny actress. She's not that cute, but she plays such cute characters with tons of quirks. This movie, no different.

The worst/best part about this movie (worst or best depending on how you look at it) was the fact that it stirred up all these old teacher crushes I had back in high school. There was Mr. C, the calculus teacher who was the cutest nerd you'd ever meet with two daughters. I used to stay after class and ask him questions about derivatives even though I already knew all the answers. Then there was Mr. F, who was not only married, but his wife also was a teacher at the school. I remember leaving my books there on purpose just so I could go back in his room. Then there's Dr. H, one of my professors here, who is Australian and hilarious and I find opportunities to send him emails as often as I can.
... And then of course, there's David the Deaf TA, who's not quite a teacher per se but is still amazing.

But anyway, back to the movie. What I don't like about high school chick flick movies is how extreme all the stereotypes get. I know high school can be rough, but people just AREN'T LIKE THAT. Most of the popular kids are actually really smart, and the nerds never identify themselves as nerds that way. I guess in Junior High you get these cliques breaking off, but in High School? People stop caring. Kids grow more mature. People like you for your personality, not what you wear or what you like to do.
But I guess the movie was still plenty entertaining.

LADY GAGA OWNS VMAS!!!

2010-09-13T08:41:00.001-07:00

I am SO PROUD OF LADY GAGA!!!
She completely TOOK OVER the MTV Video Music Awards last night, winning 8 awards with 13 nominations. That's record-breaking.

Although she did not perform that evening, she provided us with so much in the outfits she wore, the people she brought with her, and the amazing speeches she gave. GO GAGA! Your Little Monsters are cheering tonight!!

Lady Gaga marched onto the White Carpet with a BIG BANG this year, wearing a dress, shoes, and headpiece by the late Alexander McQueen. Flanking her on either side were members of SLDN.org, a reactionary group toward the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law forbidding gays to be in the military. Three of the four of them voluntarily discharged themselves, while one of them was forcibly discharged from West Point.

The McQueen dress was also seen in Gaga's photoshoot for Vanity Fair, and the "Armadillo" heels were featured in her "Bad Romance" music video, which won Video of the year tonight.

Before the show even began, she had already won two Moonmen! Best Dance Video for "Bad Romance" and Best Collaboration with Beyonce in "Telephone."

Needless to say, it was the most talked-about Red Carpet entrance of the night.

Gaga was wearing this same outfit when Ellen Degeneres (one of Gaga's closest celebrity friends) presented her with the award for Best Female Video. During her acceptance, she publicly thanked all the gays for remaking her video.

Gaga later was presented with the Award for Best Pop Video by the cast of Glee. Jane Lynch was the second open lesbian to present her with an award that evening.

This time, Gaga had changed into a stunning Armani dress coupled with her favorite Tatehana Night Walker Shoes.

"YEAHHHHH!" She called out. "Thank you to MTV for playing my video even though they asked me to cut so much out... and I REFUSED. BECAUSE WE WERE BORN THIS WAY, BABY!"

But it wasn't over yet! "Bad Romance" won THEE MORE professional awards that night: Best Editing, Best Choreography, and Best Direction. GAGA WAS ON A ROLL.

The pivotal moment came, however, when the Video of the Year was announced. I don't get MTV so I couldn't watch this myself, but I watched a live chat feed on GagaDaily. I saw hundreds of posts moving a mile a minute:

"Please win, Gaga!"

"I HOPE SHE WINS"

"GAGA FOR VIDEO OF THE YEAR!"

"Did she make it?"

"OMG SHE MADE IT!"

"GAGA WINS VIDEO OF THE YEAR!"

"Which video?"

"OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DID IT!"

"YEAAHHH MOMMA MONSTER!"

"MEAT SHOES!"

"WHICH VIDEO!?"

"OMG SHE'S CRYING."

"I LOVE LADY GAGA!"

"She won! She won!"

"NEW ALBUM TITLE?"

"WHATTTTT?"

"BORN THIS WAY!"

"OH MY GOSH MINI PERFORMANCE!"

"BORN THIS WAY is the new album title!"

I was jumping out of my seat. If only I could actually see it!! It didn't even get posted on MTV's website until the next day!! But it was SO worth watching!!

Cher -- another outlandish fashion celebrity -- presented her with the award.

"I never thought I'd be asking Cher to hold my meat puurse."

She started crying when she announced the name of her new record.

"I'm beautiful in my way, cuz God makes no mistakes. I'm on the right track. Baby, I was BORN THIS WAY!"

The crowd went wild.

Dear Gaga, what would we do without you?

Speaking of Breakthroughs...

2010-09-12T14:13:00.001-07:00

Coldplay's "Strawberry Swing" music video. Just so you can get to see what it is I'm talking about.

VMA's: Who should win, who will win?

2010-09-12T12:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight is the MTV Video Music Awards Show. I do not get the channel, not to mention it is the Sabbath, so I won't be watching it. But I WILL be keeping track of who wins what. And I WILL be commenting on this site whenever something interesting happens.
Tonight, Lady Gaga is nominated for 13 awards from her own works, not to mention the five that she's nominated for from Beyonce's "Video Phone." So she's already made history.
Of course, (because I do so love to share my opinions) I am going to provide you with my personal predictions and preferences in regards to every one of the categories. When it comes to the VMA's, my philosophy is that the awards should be given to the best video, not necessarily the best artists. You'll see what I mean once I get started, I think. And heeeeere we go!

BEST NEW ARTIST:
Jason DeRulo: "In My Head"
Should Win, and probably will win. Jason's got some amazing dance skills. As a best NEW ARTIST nominee, this video really shows what the guy can do and that he will stick in the biz for a while. A breakthrough artist like Jason needs to create an iconic image of himself through his videos, and I think he does that well amidst the lights and the strong rock beats.

BEST COLLABORATION:
Beyonce and Lady Gaga "Telephone"
You cannot deny that Lady Gaga and Beyonce make the best collaboration for a video this year. Their performances outshine all the other collaborations. But how to choose between "Telephone" and "Video Phone"? Here's where that whole "It's-about-the-video-not-the-artist" philosophy comes into play. "Telephone" is obviously a more thought-out, artistically stimulating, complete video experience. There's a plot, rad imagery, and great dancing. "Video Phone" just has a lot of plastic guns and booty-shaking. It just does not compare to the artistry and sophisitication that "Telephone" presents us with. But does the world agree? I really can't be sure on this one.

BEST DANCE VIDEO:
Lady Gaga "Bad Romance"
Should win. Will win. There is no comparison to the level of artistic vision that this video possesses. I like dance videos that are more than just dancing. All these other nominees besides "Bad Romance" is just a club scene that you see over and over again in video after video. I had to stop watching the Cascada one because it was just soooo monotonous. Let's make the dancing interesting. How do we do it? Weird alien costumes, underwear, and fire, of course!

BEST FEMALE VIDEO:
This one's hard. I want "Bad Romance" to win because I want to see Gaga do well, but I get the feeling Tay-Tay is gonna take this one. "Fifteen" is a GREAT video! It's artsy, tells a story, leaves behind a great message, really brings out the best in Taylor. It's a beautiful experience for both the eyes and the ears. Way to go!
I also liked Katy Perry's silly music video. It was very colorful and fun and the costumes were great. Some people say it's annoying to have a video that doesn't really go along with the lyrics of the music, but I like it when directors play with your mind and make you go out and look for connections. The "Telephone" video is the same way for me.

BEST HIP HOP VIDEO:
DEFINITELY Eminem. Hands-down. This video speaks to so many. The lyrics are triumphant and fit well in the setting in which Shady is placed. Furthermore, it is incredibly well-crafted. I wonder how many artists can portray the edge of the earth, the end of the world, as well as was done in this video. Second place would definitely go to "Airplanes," but there's really nothing more than Hayley and B.o.b. just sitting around and singing, which can get a little boring. The rest of these videos are just fluff and not worth watching.

BEST MALE VIDEO:
Eminem again, mainly because B.o.b.'s video has a girl in it and the rest of them are (once again) just singers standing around or talking to girls. The emotion in Em's video runs so high and there are such breathtaking climaxes in the cinematography that go so well with his lyricism. I think the world understands this and will pick this video for the award. Props, Em, Props.

BEST POP VIDEO:
This one's hard. I love "Nothin' on You." It's a fun song that's presented in a really cool method. But is it POP? Does it define POP? No. Does Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" define POP? Sadly, no. It's more futuristic, Euro-rave, club scene. So this video needs the POP quality that fits the award. Katy Perry's "Calfornia Gurls" fits this well. Candy, rappers, naked women, colors, and fun. Yes. This is POP. As for what the real world thinks, it's a toss-up.

BEST ROCK VIDEO:
Let's first narrow it down by getting rid of the ones that WON'T win. Sorry, Florence and the Machine and MGMT. And let's get rid of "Ignorance" too. You can only have so much of hayley williams singing with a lightbulb in her hand. So now we're down to 30 Seconds to Mars and Muse. I LOVE the Muse video, but I think it's the song that makes it so great more than the video does. Once again, I'm rating the VIDEO, not the band or even simply the music. 30STM has not only an epic song, but an epic video to go with it. They should take the Moonman. Sadly, I don't think voters distinguish as well as I do what it means to have a good video, so they'll probably pick Paramore.

VIDEO OF THE YEAR:
Also very hard, but "Telephone" should take it. Why? It has changed history! It's not just a music video, it's a short film! In that 8 minutes of amazing, you get intrigue, skilled choreography, amazing costumes, and two of the world's biggest divas in one place. How much more epic can you get? This video DEFINES 2010. People will never look at music videos in the same way after "Telephone." I am very confident that it will win.

BEST ART DIRECTION:
I'm not a professional critic, so I don't have the best understanding of what it means for art to be well-directed, but I will say that "Bad Romance" seemed like a pretty hard undertaking that turned out very very successful. It touches on everything people love about music videos. A catchy tune, a recognizable dance, iconic costumes, and a storyline (of sorts). Few of the other videos do it for me.

BEST CHOREOGRAPHY:
Janelle Monae's "Tightrope" has some WICKED dance moves. It takes real skill simply to dance that choreography, much less make it up. To have another one of those videos take this award when such artistry lies before us would be a real shame.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY:
"Empire State of Mind" has such a moving backdrop of epic Manhatten scenery. Plus I love the black-and-white touch. And in the end, you get the color and the lights and the Jay-Z and the Alicia Keys. It's quite perfect, really. Class and sophistication for a very classy and sophisticated rap.

BEST DIRECTION:
I really feel like "Telephone" should win this one even though it's not even part of the lineup. I think the way Jonas Akerulnd responded to the vision as wacky as Lady Gaga's was simply phenomenal. But since it's not even a nominee, I will take Gaga's "Bad Romance" as a good enough substitute, for very similar reasons. The mood that is evoked in that video is very wacky and it takes some serious thought and artistry to put something like that together. Furthermore, unlike any of the other videos which just requires either standing and singing or mass movement, some actual ACTING had to occur in the "Bad Romance" video. Ergo, a skilled director was required.

BEST EDITING:
Mike Snow's "Animal" must have taken some KILLER editing. All those different shots put together? How could it not win?

BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS:
I am VERY torn between Green Day's "21st Century Breakdown" and Dan Black's "Symphonies." I think I'll give it to Dan Black simply because the VARIETY of special effects present in that video is much more impressive than just black-and-white splash ink in 21st Century Breakdown. But they are both GREAT videos, nonetheless. I also appreciate Muse, but again, it's not enough to keep in the running. I'm wondering where exactly the special effects happen in the Lady Gaga music video, to be quite honest.

BREAKTHROUGH VIDEO:
I like all these videos, but "Strawberry Swing" is by far one of the GREATEST videos I've ever seen and completely deserves the title "Breakthrough." Whoever thought of that idea should be given a huge hug. It's a happy video, a creative medium, and definitely painstakingly thought through and executed. Well, done, Coldplay!!! Moonman for you!!

So... Gaga deserves 5 awards. That sounds like a good amount. It would take a miracle for her to sweep all of the awards she was nominated for. It would be amazing and incredible and a great, but impossible. Besides, there's just too many other great artists that hardly get any recognition whatsoever that I feel need some time to shine.
So go Gaga! Win the awards you deserve and let's enjoy the VMA's!!

Tarja Turunen: I Feel Immortal

2010-09-11T22:58:00.001-07:00

What a great video and what a great song!! This is one of Tarja's deepest songs I've heard.

This whole album seems really good. Really goth. Really good.

More PETER PAN

2010-09-11T22:27:00.000-07:00

Ok. So I watched 2 Peter Pan-inspired movies this weekend with my roommates:

1. HOOK

I got this movie for my twentieth birthday. Apparently it was sitting in the bottom of a box in my mother's closet for months but she never thought about giving it to me until now. Which is quite unfortunate, because I really like this movie and had I owned it for a long time I would have it memorized by now, like my cousin Aubrey. Her younger brother, my cousin Taggart, is obsessed with this movie. Exactly why he loves THIS movie over any other is still unknown to me, but I also think it is an excellent family film.
Robin Williams is one of my favorite actors, and Dustin Hoffman portrays the infamous Captain Hook very well. The plot is also quite clever. I wonder how many of us wonder what would have happened if Peter Pan ever DID leave Neverland and what kind of a man he would be.
Favorite Parts: Rufio, Robin Williams, Maggie Smith (the ultimate Old Lady), Hook's Costume, "Firefly from Hell," and the incredibly elaborate sets.
Least Favorite Parts: The cheesey song the girl sings, Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell, the corny "family values" message, and the silly 90's clothes and technology.

2. FINDING NEVERLAND

This movie is my second favorite Johnny Depp movie, aside from the POTC series, of course. I love him when he's cleanshaven and speaking in a Scottish accent. I remember seeing this movie and loving it when I was very young but I forgot most of it, so watching it now was like watching it for the first time. This movie is bittersweet, for sure, but the thing that is most depressing for me is the fact that I have completely lost the childlike whimsy this film portrays. I used to have an imagination just as powerful as Barry's and the children's, but I have long since lost it. Watching films like these makes me want to be a kid again.
Favorite Parts: Johnny Depp, of course. Peter Ostrum, the child actor, is incredible. I wish he would never grow old. The death of Sylvia is also very moving, as well as the end of the entire movie.
Least Favorite Parts: The wife, and the frustrations about childhood fantasy that I have already mentioned earlier.

THE APOLOGY OF SOCRATES. TOLD BY PLATO, RETOLD BY ME

2010-09-05T16:15:00.000-07:00

Paragraph 1: Kay guys, so there's a lot of haters out there who say I'm a liar. They say I'm good at sweet-talking, but I'm really not. I just tell it like it is in my own way.
2: The people who accuse me can be split into two groups. There's the group that steered you wrong when you were young and impressionable. Of course you followed them becaus we there was no one to tell you otherwise. But now there are also people who are living today who manipulate and are fed by envy and malice. I'll deal with the old ones first, then the new.
3: I hope I can win your hearts, though I know it won't be easy. But let God's will be done.
4: What do my accusers say? They say Socrates teaches false doctrine. Aristophanes even wrote a play that made fun of me. But that's not my business. My business is to tell you the truth, and it's your business to judge it.
5: I am not a paid teacher, though I respect the profession. There's a story told of a man with two sons. I asked the man, "If your kids were horses, you'd give 'em to a horse trainer. But there isn't a people-trainer, is there?" The man told me yes, there was. And he taught for cheap, despite all his wisdom." Heaven's, I'm surprised he doesn't charge more! I know I would... but I can't. So I don't.
6: Well then why do people accuse me of this, then? Surely there must be some grounds for it? Well, it's because I'm "wise." I'm not wise in an unattainable sense, but as God is my witness, I am the wisest. The oracle at Delphi said so.
7: But I don't think I'm the wisest! Why would God say that? God can't lie. That's against his nature! So I decided to go out and look for a man wiser than myself. I went to this politician, who I thought was very wise at first. But it turned out the more I talked to him, the less wise he became. He thought he was wise, but he wasn't. So he hated me. I came to the conclusion that I am better off than he is -- because he thinks he knows something, yet knows nothing. I don't even think I know. This applied to every "wise" person I talked to.
8: After experimenting on this, I became more sure that "wise" people are actually very foolish -- it's the inferior men who know more. After politicians, I went to the poets. I asked what their verses meant, but all they did was brag about how "inspired" they are. They wrote the stuff, but they didn't understand it. So they're not wise, either.
9: I went to the artisans next. They knew a lot of stuff... but they still thoght they knew more than they actually did. I'm still better off!
10: So that's why people hate me. I am not wise. Only God is wise. Our wisdom is nothing. You are only wise when you come to understand that wisdom is worth nothing. So it's my job to get people to realize their own foolishness. I'm consumed by this quest.
11: People react towards me rather than towards themselves when they hear this. They blame me, even though I did nothing evil. They don't like to be told they are wrong. I'm simply plain with my accusers, and they hate me for it. This hatred is proof that I speak truth.
12: So that's the OLD accusers. Now for the new. What do THEY accuse me of? They say I don't worship God and I corrupt youth. They are, in fact, the evil ones -- they make a joke out of serious things -- they claim they care, but the don't. I'll have a conversation with one of them: Mr. Meletus.

S: So you care about youth?
M: Yes.
S: Who is improving them? You've accused me as their corrupter... who is their improver?
M: Speechless.
S: You've got nothing to say. How shameful! Doesn't this mean you don't care??
M: The laws!
S: But I need a person! Who knows the laws?
M: Judges.
S: How do they improve youth? Do they?
M: yes.
S: All of them?
M: yes.
S: Good! Does the audience improve youth?
M: Yes.
S: And Senators too?
M: Senators, too.
S: What about ecclesiats?
M: Them too.
S: That's like everyone in Athens, then! Everyone but me!
M: You got that right.
S: Too bad! But... what about horses? Does only one man do them harm? No... many injure them. Sometimes it's just the trainer who does them good. There is never just one corrupter. Obviously you don't care enough about the children to think of this. Obviously it's better to live among good people, Right?
M: Yep.
S: Does anyone like to be injured?
M: Nope.
S: so you think I intentionally corrupt youth?
M: Yes.
S: But you just said that good neighbors are good doers... why would I want to corrupt someone if he's gonna injure me? So either I don't corrupt them, or I do it unintentionally. Either way, you lie. If I did it unintentionally, you should have privately corrected me. Instead you bring me here to be punished! One more thing. How do I corrupt the young? Am I worshipping false gods?
M: you are.
S: What do you mean? I believe in Gods. So I'm not an atheist. Are my Gods different from the laws?
M: I believe you're an atheist.
S: Why?? I believe in the Gods of the sun and moon!
M: Yet you believe the sun is stone and the moon is earth.
S: That's Anaxagoras... but what about me?
M: You don't believe in God!
S: Liar! You don't even believe yourself! You thought you could get away with being a walking contradiction, but you can't! This is a joke! Let's look at this guy, judges, and see. you can't see a flute player without flute playing. you can't see horsemanship without horses. Neither can you see divine agencies without God, right?
M: Right.
S: I believe in spiritual agencies! I believe in divine beings, I believe in God! Spirits and demigods are all God, right?
M: Right.
S: If I believe in a demigod -- a child of god -- I believe in the parent! I can't say mules exist without horses and donkeys. Nonsense! You have nothing to accuse me of. Yet I still have many enemies: envy and distraction. That kills a lot of people.

12: Am I ashamed? Am I ashamed of dying? No. It's not about life or death, it's about right or wrong. We shouldn't worry about death, but honor. That's what Achilles did.
13: This is a mission God wants me to fulfill -- to deny this mission is to deny him. I'd think I was wise, even though I'm not. Fear of death is the pretence of wisdom. No one knows what comes after death. Why pretend to know? That's foolish! Death may be bad, but it may also be good -- why avoid what is good? I will obey God rather than man. I care about deeper truths -- not money and reputation, but improvement of the soul. A guy can't do this without virtue. Don't think of yourself and your properties. Care about your soul. After that, you'll get those other things. I will not change.
14: If you kill me, you will injure yourself more than me. Bad things can't really hurt me. To kill an innocent man is bad for you! Don't sin against God. I'm like a gadfly, and the state is like a horse. I stir it to life -- I land on you and wake you up. I'm not easily replaced. You may be irritated by me -- you may wanna kill me and keep sleeping, but dontt! I'm like your brother! I don't seek payment!
15: Why do I not publicly do this? Why am I not a politician? The oracle has forbidden me. If I was a politician, you wouldn't see me today to help you still. I'd die early.
16: I'll give you an example: I was a Senator for a while. We had won a battle, but our prisoners needed to be tried. You wanted to try them all together, but that's illegal. I said so, even though you threatened to kill me. Later, after the democracy, the oligarchy told us to bring another prisoner, but he was innocent, so I didn't ring him. I would have died if the oligarchy had survived.
17: Now do you see how I wouldn't have survived in politics? I simply tell it like it is, and invite all to follow -- no pay needed. I am no respecter of persons. I tell the world.
18: I like it when foolish people argue with me. it's fun! But I'm doing my godly duty. if I'm corrupting children, how? They're turning out to be pretty decent people! Let those who believe they have been corrupted come forward! Or their families! Anyone? I see a lot of you here! You all know I speak truth.
19: One more thing: To those who may be offended by my presence here -- all by myself, not fearing death -- I am a man, flesh and blood. I have a family, yes. but I won't bring them here. That would be discreditable. Some people act really stupid when they're accused of something. People fear death -- they want to be immortal, continuing to live. These people are wimps. They make the city look ridiculous.
20: Judges need to give justice according to the laws. Don't bribe them. Remember: Believe in God, and it is before him that I make my argument.
21: I've been condemned, but I don't grieve. Why? I expected it. In fact, the vote was closer in my favor than I expected.
22: They propose death. Remember, I don't care about things of the world. I only went about doing what good that I could. I've besought of you to look inside yourselves and find virtue. Good comes from good. A good poor man deserves more than an athlete who won a race. I need, but he has enough.
23: I'm not begging innocence. I'm just saying Ive never wronged anyone. I don't think a capital offense should be concluded in one day, either. I have too little time to convince you. I don't deserve death, but I don't fear it. I may be imprisoned instead of put to death, but death may be better than imprisonment. I'd hate to be exiled, separated from he people I serve. Besides, I'll get kicked out wherever I go. I can't hold my tongue. To converse about virtue is the greatest good of man. A life unexamined is not worth living. I have no money, so I can pay no fines.
24: Your name will be shamed because you killed me, Socrates, a wise man. you should have waited to see the reward of my words. To those who convicted me, it wasn't my words that bothered you. It's cuz I didn't cry and beg for forgiveness. I was bold til the end. I did not try to escape death. I did not surrender. I avoided unrighteousness, not death. Now you'll be the unrighteous ones. You'll have your reward.
25: I have a prophecy: You'll get much worse than me. You'll still have to face the music -- there will be others who will tell it like it is like I did. you can't avoid accusation by killing people. Don't kill others, improve yourselves.
26: My friends, stay and let me talk to you. The oracle didn't disapprove of anything I did today. Nothing. How can we explain this? It means that everything I said was meant to be said. it was good. Death can't be bad. It's good!
27: Death is either nothing or it is something. It's either utter unconsciousness or it is a migration to a new world. So I either have a nice sleep to look forward to -- a deep undisturbed sleep with no dreams -- which would be great -- eternity is only a single night. But if death is a journey, that's good too! He's delivered from the evils of this world -- true judgment reigns. We'll see good men -- and we can talk to them! I'd love this! I'd continue my search for knowledge among great heroes! I will be happy and immortal!
28: No evil can happen to a good man. Nothing happens by chance. God loves good men. To die is better for me. I am not angry! I gently blame them for trying to do me wrong, but they didn't.
29: Teach my sons what I taught you, please! Reprove them if they pretend to be wise or seek riches.
30: I'm gonna die now. God only knows what's next.

How to Train Your Dragon

2010-08-25T09:18:00.000-07:00

I finally saw the movie How to Train your Dragon, although I was hesitant. If it wasn't at the dollar theater, I wouldn't have gone with my cousin and her friend Spencer to see it. When I first saw previews for it, I thought it would be just another animated Dreamworks knock-off. I didn't like Shrek all that much, and Madagascar was only funny once (and don't get me started on the sequels!).
But when these two people were over at my house, they told me OVER and OVER again that it was one of the best movies of the year. Spencer had seen it TEN TIMES already. Who sees a movie ten times? That's like fifty bucks! So I figured it must be good so I went.
It was a good movie. Of course it wasn't the greatest movie ever, but there were definitely some moments that had me completely awestruck. The 3D animation was so real!! I didn't even see the actual "3D" version (I am avoiding that at all costs), but the beards, the scales, the water, the grass... it looked almost too real for comfort. And of course I liked the movie a lot better when I found out GERARD BUTLER played the voice of Hiccup's father. Hiccup himself was a very believable teenager. I haven't quite seen one with such dry humor and awkward behavior yet in an animated movie. He sort of reminded me of my cousin Taggart, which was really cool.
What I didn't like about the movie sort of makes me sound like a killjoy. Vikings never fought dragons. Dragons don't exist. They never did exist. Maybe I'm missing some mythological background, but why Vikings and Dragons? Perhaps I need to do some research before I go straight to this judgement.

Helena's Movie Rating: 3/4

Good for: families, goofy friend movies, a pick-me-up

PS Doesn't Toothless look like a cat??

INCEPTION

2010-07-31T16:44:00.000-07:00

So I FINALLY saw Inception a few days ago with a bunch of church friends.

First off, I'd like to just point out that YES, the movie was very good and YES it will probably go down in history as one of those movies that just bends your brain like no other. Christopher Nolan is a fantastic director... only the best can make up a plot so complex and so intricate as that one. The acting was great, mostly. Leo DiCaprio has his dry moments and Marion Cotillard has never been my favorite, but you lose sight of that by the great looking Joseph Gordon Levitt and CILLIAN MURPHY (*gusssssh*), the intense Zimmer music, and the brilliant plotline that just blows your mind.

HOWEVER...
It is not all it's cracked up to be.
I don't mean to say it wasn't good!!! I just get really critical when I go in expecting the forth of july and all I get is a few fire-crackers. People would talk and talk and talk about the movie... All they said was that my mind would be blown and my life would be changed and I may have a near-death experience. Yet when I left the movie, I was definitely thinking (good movies make you think), but this movie was in no way as phenomenal as it was made out to be. I was more impressed with Dark Knight than this movie. I really had no desire to tell the world how amazing it was. I didn't even post it on facebook until a few days later.
So word to the wise... this is a movie that you should know as little about as possible in order to fully appreciate it. Don't take others' words for it. Go see it yourself and like it for what it is, not what others say about it. You will appreciate it more.

A Few Items of Musical Business:

2010-07-31T16:19:00.000-07:00

Okay so I like following bands/artists/performers that I really like, but many of them have either been on loooong hiatuses (hiati?) these past few months that they are fading from my life. I cannot let that happen.
Fortunately, some of them are returning to the limelight with new CDs/appearances/news so here goes.

1. The new Evanescence CD is supposed to be coming out this fall. This is big. Very big. Amy Lee and Terry Balsamo are teaming up with producer Steve Lillywhite to make a more electro-pop rock sound, which is now my latest craze. So that's really exciting. Every Evanescence CD (thus far, only three of them) has been different. This is a quality I like. Amy Lee -- depending on those she is working with -- always cranks out something new and it's always very beautiful. SOOO Excited. Come, Fall '10! Come!!!

2. Speaking of Evanescence... We Are The Fallen. I don't care about those diehard Ev fans who mock Ben Moody's new band, I really like their stuff. I like female-fronted, classical-goth-rock bands, and it all began with Ben Moody's Evanescence. So We Are the Fallen is like bringing back that sound that made me love the genre in the first place. And Carly Smithson is good. She's not Amy Lee, but let's face it. No one can be Amy Lee. That's probably why she's had so much trouble holding a band together. So as far as the female goth genre is concerned, this new Evanescence that Moody has created is pretty decent. I want to invest in the CD.

3. (Still in my goth rock vein) Within Temptation. New CD should be out early 2011. That feels far away, but really it's only a few months. (I can't believe 2010 is half over...) And I think WT is seriously improving with everything they make.
I believe Sharon Den Adel had a child these past few months, which is why they stopped touring. Makes sense.

4. Speaking of Babies, Anette Olzon from Nightwish also had a baby... very very recently. So we might not be hearing any new Nightwish for a while. Hopefully the band will survive. A new singer... who just had a baby. Doesn't bode well for a band.

5. I'm loving Adam Lambert more and more. I think I want his CD as well.

6. I feel like I really should be liking Paramore but the more I hear from them, the more bored I get. So I can't help but make a stupid pun -- Paramore's a paraBORE. "The Only Exception" is all over the Radio right now and I really am honestly at a loss for why they would pick THAT song for a single. It's slow slow slow and repetitive repetitive repetitive, requiring very little vocal skill and lacking meaningful lyrics. Old Paramore? Pretty good from a pop perspective -- not a rock perspective.

7. Lady Gaga's new CD comes out spring 2011. She will be announcing the name of the album on January first, 2011 at midnight by releasing a picture of her new tattoo with the album name.

8. Katy Perry's CD... as I think I mentioned last post... is greatly anticipated.

9. Bruno Mars has a single out that's really cute. Something about "when I see your face, there's nothing I would change." I wish a guy would say that to me... as would a hundred other girls, which is why it's played all the time on the radio. Dangit.

10. Eminem. I got into him a bit back in jr. high just to be cool, but now I'm reconnecting with Shady and his new songs are quite deep. I just don't think I can wholly appreciate him what with the standards I try my hardest to keep regarding language and sexual content. So I am content with just his semi-clean radio singles and whatever lyrics I can stomach. I do respect him, however, for his great usage of language. Rap is a hard art to master, and Marshall Mathers is a genius at it. "Love the Way You Lie" with Rihanna is one such masterpiece. It's overplayed. I really hope the shock doesn't wear off because of that.

11. I'm also liking Taio Cruz's "Dynamite." It is -- at the moment -- my favorite party song.

Rolling Stones Top 500

2010-07-26T11:11:00.001-07:00

I'm working my way through Rolling Stone's top 500 songs of the last 50 years. Good stuff good stuff.

I'm learning now to appreciate good ol' fashioned Rock N' Roll, which was a genre I never quite got into until now.

New Katy Perry Stuff

2010-07-24T10:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, I really like Katy Perry. She's like the Princess of Pop right now (under Queen GAGA of course) and the one word that I like to use when I describe her is this: COLORFUL.
Everything she does is bright, happy, and honestly loud. It's wonderful. So here I include two youtube videos dedicated to her new CD coming out this fall: Teenage Dream

First...
A link to the music video for her latest single, "California Gurls"
(embedding was disabled but I thought you'd want the best quality video EVER...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwE-SLnLkqY

THEN...
Some parody Videos on "California Gurls"

1. "Minnesota Girls" -- Of course I'm from Minnesota so this has a meaning very near and dear to my heart.

2. Glozell's Translation for the Video, which is particularly hilarious.

Finally, I'm gonna put on a link so you can listen to her next single, "Teenage Dream" which I really like.

"You think I'm funny when I get the punchline wrong." :D

Here's her CD cover for her new CD, also called "Teenage Dream." A little provocative for a CD cover... but I suppose it could be worse.

The Last Airbender.... Broke my Brain.

2010-07-10T22:02:00.000-07:00

Okay so this was the first movie I have ever gone to that left me extremely clueless as to whether or not I liked it.

So I went home and read about a hundred reviews on it and they all said the same thing: This Avatar movie SUCKED.

But I'm the type of girl who at least tries to find some good things about these movies so I will provide a list of pros before I rant and rant about the cons.

PROS:
1. It kept very well with the plot of the Animated Series. This has always been the classic complaint of moviegoers everywhere: "Why do they have to change it so much? I like the original!" Well here is where their wish was granted. The movie kept to the major plotline of the series almost without flaw. Of course, there are things we gotta leave out. Omashu, for example, with the mad King Bumi and the crazy cabbage guy, was a great part of season 1, but not needed to keep the Fire Nation plot going and therefore unneccessary for the motion picture. I get that. And there are some things that were added in... that whole tidbit about Aang's past with the Monks where he is supposed to officially announce his acceptance of becoming the Avatar was new. But the big things were all there, as they were in the series. They got all the characters right, down to the costumes all the people wore. The voices even sounded alike (I was particularly impressed with Noah's little Aang voice). So I was not disappointed at all at how well they were able to cram 20 episodes of great plotline into a hundred-minute movie. Good job.
(I will say now, however, that the things that WERE changed from the original are definitely things that turned what would have been a great movie into a complete disaster... but we'll get there later. I'll try to stay positive until then.)
2. I'm a boy-obsessed fool, so I gotta say that Sokka was adorable. I hesitate to admit this, but I only figured out he was Jackson Rathbone -- who recently graced us with his gorgeous presence as Jasper in the Eclipse movie -- about halfway through the film... I should have been able to have recognized that intense stare anywhere! I was touched by the love affair between Sokka and his dear Princess Eweh (how DO you spell her name, I wonder?). Probably the most touching part of the film was when he has to let her go... just as it was in the animated movie, except moreso because now it's actual people kissing each other, not just 2D anime replications.

3. The beginning was very good. It got me pumped for the rest of the movie. Seeing those REAL people doing the moves that I've seen over and over at the beginning of every episode was quite thrilling. Actually, the bending moves in general were pretty good. It's nice to know that yes, people can actually move their bodies that way and it's not just fun drawings. They maintained the separate martial arts well, too, as far as I saw, though I'm no expert on that kind of thing.
4. The whole movie was very pleasing to the eye. You got some cool 3D effects in there (I particularly liked the water sequences) and the scenery was gorgeous. Costumes were ACE. Exactly how I would picture them to look like from the drawings. And I actually found it quite fun seeing who they picked for each role. We had a rainbow of ethnicities in this movie... though it did seem a little backwards. We've got the Indian/Middle Eastern types for the Fire Nation. There's Eastern Asian people representing the Earth Kingdom. So far, so good. But then we've got two water tribes filled with Caucasians and a couple Innuit... I always thought Katara and Sokka were a bit, well, darker than that in the animated series. And then there are those Air Nomads who were pretty much every race you could think of except white.... and then there's pasty Aang in the middle of all of them. Monk Iatso (whatever) was black. That was something I did not expect. Not at all. But I surprisingly liked it. Maybe it was just the touching memories of the fatherly monk that got me saying "Awww, how CUTE!" during that part of the movie, but I think they cast it rather well. I'm sure these actors did the best they could with what they were able to work with....
5. More on the casting. My two favorite characters in this besides Sokka were Zuko and Iroh. I was surprised to see Iroh cast as a tall skinny guy, but his acting and lines were definitely the best out of everyone's. I always see Iroh as the kind of guy who has this AMAZING power but he willingly chooses not to use it in a way that is destructive. A great example for the fiery young Zuko, played by that one guy from Slumdog Millionare. He did rather well. Though his lines were a little forced, I always got that impression from the Zuko in the animated series as well, so it wasn't as annoying. This kind of went for Katara as well. Everything Katara says is really overscripted, even in the animated show, so it's only to be expected that Katara is a bit plastic in the live movie. It's when you get people like... say... Commander Zhou and other adults in the movie who are perfectly capable of good acting who get stuck with these crappy lines. I can't cut them as much slack as I can with the kids.

CONS:
(these will get a little specific)
1. Zuko's scar needs to be more noticeable, particularly when you got a dark-skinned Indian Actor playing the part.
2. The words AANG, SOKKA, IROH, and even AVATAR are said over and over in the animated series. Can't we just pronounce them that way in the movie? I almost had issues remembering that Ahng was the kid with the bald head and tatttoos blowing wind around. When he gets caught up in those spirit-dream sequences, I hear Katara shouting his name: "Ahng! AHNG!" and I keep thinking she's saying, "Mom! MOM!!!" Just pronounce it the way we're all used to. We've all seen the series, it's not like you're hiding it from us! Why add one more thing about this movie that frustrates us even more?
3. As I said before, the movie takes hold of the important parts of the first season and compacts them pretty nicely. But the transitions between each new scene are sloppy. We have trouble recognizing where exactly people are, what exactly they are doing there, and where they are going. We have to wait forever until someone mentions it in an overscripted soliloquy. In one review, I read that the whole movie was a series of starts and stops -- the starts being the bending action sequences and the stops being the jerky dialog in between. I must agree. There was little acting going on. Little characterization at all, as a matter of fact.
4. The lack of character development deserves its own number. Take Sokka, for example. Sokka, in the series, was the comic relief, who falls victim to almost all different types of humorous situations. He wants to be a man, like his father. He's got a sister with an incredible gift. But Sokka always seems to fall short over and over again until finally he meets this princess who makes him feel strong and loved and able to be somebody. Then (spoiler) the princess has to die -- or at least not live anymore -- and that part of Sokka is gone. He's a great character. But we miss all of that because between the opening and the kiss at the end, all we hear from Sokka are about two words. There was SO MUCH MORE we could have done here! So much more of Sokka we could have seen! Where is the headstrong, take-charge, clumsy Sokka we all know and love? All we have in this movie is a paranoid and wishy-washy moonstruck waif. Mr. Rathbone, good looks can only take you so far. Talk to your scriptwriter and maybe he'll think of some more clever scenes for you to go along with that gorgeous face you got.
5. I don't quite understand the idea that Iroh can make fire out of "nothing." They do that over and over again in the series.
6. Where is Avatar Roku? I liked him better than that dragon spirit thing that haunted Aaang in his visions. Furthermore, Roku gave more information (which was always concise, informative, on point, and NOT BORING) than this dragon did. We figure out at the end of the movie that FireLord Ozai knows about the comet... but how and when does Aang find out? That question is left unanswered.
7. Speaking of that comet... 3 years? Not three months? Okay so I suppose that's a lot more realistic of a time frame for a guy like Aang to learn and perfect three forms of bending, but still... three years? Aang will have finished puberty by then! And Sokka... Sokka would be an adult by that time. Same with Zuko. Didn't think that all the way through, didja?
8. Why do we actually get to SEE Fire Lord Ozai? One of the most mysterious parts of the whole movie was the idea of this unseen villain, this evil with no bounds, shrouded in flame, ready to kill. But we see weakness in Ozai. He questions the honor of his son, he questions the might of his troops. He's actually seen as this old Indian guy wearing funny clothes. Not quite the Ozai I would have pictured.
9. While the action scenes were on the whole pretty good, they didn't run as smoothly as I would have liked. One scene in particular really annoys me: That earthbending kingdom scene. Pretty much that whole thing. Aang provokes fire bender. Two seconds pass. Firebender finally attacks at Aang. Katara (though she seemed to have had plenty of time to respond) doesn't come out to protect Aang until he's about to get hit. Then she mutters this really badly-given line "Leave him alone!" And while the Firebender takes about five seconds to prepare to hit Katara, Aang still doesn't seem like he's in too much of a hurry to help her until she's about to get hit. It's all very slow, jerky, not exciting. All the bending takes a while. In the animated series, you're able to throw fire, water, and rocks around with lightning speed. Aparently not in live-action land, despite our advanced technologies.
10. One final thing before I go to bed. This whole pacifist Avatar thing is beginning to bug me. I really liked the giant fish spirit thing that Aang become at the end of the animated season 1. He shows just how powerful he is by kicking some major fire nation butt. But in this movie, he seems to do all he can NOT to kick any butts. One thing about being the Avatar. You've GOT to kill some people in a war. That's just the way things are. So quit trying to supress those offensive emotions, Aang. They are natural, and they are legitimate. Remember, these guys will scorch you alive if you get too close! So attack 'em! I'm a young american teenager. I demind some bloodshed!! I mean, it is rated PG after all... that's enough for at least a little violence.
Okay I'm done for now. Don't see this movie until it comes out on the dollar theater or until a fanatic friend of yours borrows it. It ain't worth going in theaters unless you got amazing seats and some good friends to compare notes with.

ECLIPSE

2010-07-02T07:01:00.001-07:00

Okay this movie was a lot like the last one. The fact that there were a dozen newborn vampires killing dozens of people in Seattle didn't matter. The fact that Bella wants to turn into an immortal bloodsucker didn't matter. The entire plot DID NOT MATTER. All that mattered was that Taylor Lautner was shirtless for about half of the movie. And for the other half, Robert Pattinson was pouring on the charm with Bella. Never before has Celibacy before Marriage looked so HOTTTTTTT.

Jasper and Riley both had their share of good lookingness too, I must add.

I think Kristin Stewart did a much better job in this movie at being a human being and actually talking and expressing herself. That last little monologue that she did again made me more assured than ever that she knows what she's doing. For a while there it seemed like she had almost no mind of her own, that all the guys were making decisions for her. But in this movie, she has a soul. She chooses Edward. She has the power to do so!

\

The series gets better and better. Now we've got Taylor Lautner kissy action as well as some new characters... and new insights on old ones... that are worth appreciating. Jasper, for one beautiful example.
I already sort of gave you my spiel about Jacob/Edward in a previous post, but I will say again that they compliment each other. Therefore I am neither Team Edward nor Team Jacob... just a mix of both.
However, I am sad to say that my male standard has just shot up one hundredfold. I can't even consider dating a guy who doesn't have a Godbod like Jacob or the perfect caring loving do-anything-for-you personality of Edward. Unfortunately, these two attributes cannot be found in real life. These are characters, not real people. So when I look at a REAL guy who may be decent-looking and definitely have a heart of gold, I am blinded by the great illusions that are Stephanie Meyer's characters and I simply cannot accept anything less. This is so frustrating! Why can't men just BE that beautiful? I simply don't know.

I cannot help but feel very sorry for Jacob during this whole movie. He tries so hard and wants Bella so much, yet there is simply nothing she can do. Her heart belongs to Edward. Jacob can't change that. Which makes me want to scream, "I'm here, Jacob! Take me instead!" But of course that can't happen.
*sigh* I have such a love-hate relationship with this series.

Nope. Can't do it.

ALEJANDRO

2010-06-22T08:48:00.000-07:00

Okay I really could go on and on about how I feel about ALEJANDRO... And since I've got the whole day ahead of me, I think I will.

0:00 -- GAGA.
Okay, already I can tell this Lady thinks a lot about herself as an icon and a household name. Why else would she have such a title such as GAGAKLEIN: ALEJANDRO. She's playing off her fame and her iconic figure. Part of me thinks, "how prudish." Another part of me thinks, "Well, she IS an icon, after all." So I don't know.
0:07 -- Boys in Fishnets?
I DON'T GET some of the scenes in this video. This is one of them. Some of them look like drag queens, others like Nazis. What's the connection? In the meantime, though, I realize that boys just don't belong in fishnets and high heels. This is the first of many motifs Gaga uses to create shock value. That's pretty much what the entire music video is... one shocking scene after another to get recognized and to make waves.
0:22 -- Bar?
Where are these guys anyway? And WHO are they? I keep seeing the same people over and over again and I am assuming they all have names. What is the significance of this?? Why, again, are they dressed like Nazis?
0:41 -- Military Men
Okay so I might get the symbolism of this: Perhaps its the pride and militancy of the gay community? Gaga talked a lot about that before the video came out. She said it was about her love of the gays and how pure her friendships were with gay men. But I'm having trouble seeing this in the video. So I'm taking a wild guess. These guys look like military personell. The choreography is very firm, very strong. But why, then, does it look so negative?
1:01 -- What are they wearing?
What are these guys wearing? What's with the strange Jewish Cross machine type thing and those other weird metal accessories?
1:05 -- The music finally begins.
This musical line from Czardas plays waaaay too many times at the beginning. In the meantime, though, that is an amazing outfit she's got on. Probably my favorite in the whole video.
1:10 -- Her heart.
This, I'm guessing, is her heart. They're holding a funeral of some sort, but is it for her? I don't think so... I'm guessing it's for her heart. She stands in the procession and says that line, "I know that we are young and I know that you may love me, but I just can't be with you like this anymore, Alejandro." Is this because her heart has been broken? Or eaten? Or turned to stone? Hmmm....
1:15 -- Coffin.
For whom? She's standing right there, so it can't be hers! Is it for her heart? Not very logical... so who's in the coffin?
PS This scene reminds me very much of the music video for "The Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance. The snowy, ashy landscape, the funeral march, the militant aesthetic.
1:23 -- Mansion
Is this her mansion? Is she queen over something? Are those guys standing around her her bodyguards of sorts? It's a beautiful scene, but what does it mean? And the marching noises in the background? Is it supposed to mean anything? With GAGA, you can never tell what sort of messages she's trying to convey...
1:45 -- Who died?
Perhaps it was Alejandro who was in the coffin? What a beautiful scene this is!
1:53 -- Evandro
So apparently, this guys name is Evandro. Which is interesting because there was never an Evandro mentioned in the song. The guy's cute, though the chain that comes down on his chin is kind of annoying and he most definitely looks like a queer. (Interesting placement of gun on his lap...) What is HIS significance? He's on a bed that looks like it's held up by lines of some sort... And still the military-esque uniform. What is going on? I suppose thus far it's just a montage of images that later will be explained.
2:05 -- Alex McQueen
That's an Alexander McQueen headpiece she's wearing, and it's gorgeous. I love "the look" she puts on in this video... little eye makeup, bowl cut, pale skin. It's cool. She talks funny in this video, though. Her teeth poke out a little too much. She has REALLY changed since she began with The Fame. Once again, those lines, what do they mean at this point? Who is she really talking to?
2:20 -- The music finally starts!
I love this image of her with the pipe, overlooking her little dancer minions, though I don't quite get what it is she's doing, looking at them while they have a little circle fight dance thing down there. Is she an overseer to some gay brothel? Does she love those men? Are those men fighting over her? Is she observing as they try to live in harmony but end up falling into war and pain? What is with all this SYMBOLISM???
2:34 -- Crown
I love this crown thingy she wears with the bug eye things! She is a work of art in this scene. The way she moves herself as she sings, the makeup she wears, it's all sort of minimalistic in nature. So cool.
2:45 -- Very little makeup.
Gaga's got very little makeup around her eyes, which is in extreme contrast to her Telephone video, where she had almost too much. Her lips, though, are still very red. I'm surprised they never stain her teeth as she sings. It's robotic, almost, the way she moves her mouth.
2:48 -- Background
What's with the flaming screen in the background? I hardly noticed that until now... It's like the same fire/fight scene we see much later in the video. What does this symbolize? A gay rally gone awry? I keep thinking it's got something to do with the gays because she kept SAYING it had something to do with the gays. I really couldn't tell otherwise!
3:39 -- Ouch.
Fighting going on... but what for?
3:42 -- The ever-controversial Nun outfit
First of all, everyone says that nun habit looks "sexy." No it doesn't. Not really. Her face is way too pale, no hair, it's made of latex... how is that sexy? Granted, it is definitely a perversion of what otherwise would be a holy garment. I'll get to that whole thing later. I just want to say now that the habit is NOT very flattering on her. Though the lighting of it is great, it gives almost a purple quality to the red of her heart and of this habit.
What's happening here, I wonder? She keeps saying "just let me go" and she looks awful distressed. Is she trapped in that bed? There's still those wires everywhere and she's got a lot of religious imagery around her. I read an article about how gaga's religious imagery symbolizes the sacrificial air of the Catholic church. Some churches are "happy churches" where it's all about loving god and praising yourself. But there are other churches that require you to note the pain and the bad things that are in the world... the weaknesses in yourself. Catholics are a good example of this, and Gaga's lyrics all have this sort of self-hate aesthetic to them. So this is a really good example of that. Moving on...
3:52 -- Sex
What is this? They look like a bunch of hospital beds (once again, MCR). And she's wearing such ugly underwear (no offense, Calvin Klein). I think this is another attempt at shock value. "Let's add some sex in to make people gasp some more!"
Erotically speaking, this looks painful and it involves bondage. Some people have a fetish for that stuff, I guess, but I don't. And all the guys are wearing those high heels again... not natural. Seeing all this sex stuff juxtaposed with the "purity" of the nun habit makes me wonder if GagaKlein is trying to compare the pure to the ugly, the bitter and the sweet part of a person.
4:14 -- I don't know what to think about these men...
They've all got beatles cuts, they're all very gay, dancing like girls. They're wearing supertight short shorts and military boots... not in the least attractive, the lot of them, including Gaga. This video sure doesn't flatter anyone.
4:19 -- Choreography
I'm impressed. Particularly because Gaga can keep track of the words she's supposed to sing in the meantime. That looks like very intricate dancing. What I love is that some of the guys look more girly when they dance like this than Gaga does... perhaps that's the point.
Furthermore, Gaga is a SKINNY MINNIE!!!
4:42 -- Lots of touching....
Okay so if this is supposed to be about the gay community, why are all the guys feeling her up when she's a woman?
5:02 -- This is interesting...
First of all, cool flesh-tone heel-less nightwalker shoes, Gaga. But what are you doing dressed in a priestess's robe amongst all these homosexual men... who eventually make you take your clothes off? And throughout all this you have that same burning rally in the background.
Perhaps this is your movement from the pure to the unholy. Either way, you look quite like a mix of Joan of Arc and Eva Peron in this part.
5:15 -- Eating the Rosary
I guess I'll talk about the whole religious controversey now. I really didn't mind it that much when I saw it... but of course, I'm not catholic, nor do I esteem Catholic imagery as holy. If she were... say, humping a picture of Joseph Smith or making fun of temple covenants, I would DEFINITELY be offended. So in that sense, I'm a bit hypocritical.
Of course, seeing an upside down cross on Gaga's crotch was definitely shocking, it wasn't necessarily offensive to me. What was more offensive were the sex simulation scenes and the homosexual undertones... Why are people making such a big deal about mere symbols when there's actual satanic behavior going on right in front of them? I think we're missing the target here, people.
In the meantime, I also understand that there IS a method to Gaga's madness. She's trying to prove something. It may be her confusion she is currently experiencing when it comes to religion. It may be, as I said before, a tragic story about her loss of purity. It may just be something for people to talk about. I'm almost certain she added the Catholic imagery in for pure shock value. It gets people talking, just like her weird clothes and her bold personality. She likes being noticed, even if it's for things that aren't exactly positive. What I think we need to remember as viewers is that this is all for the sake of "art." Lady Gaga is all about artistic expression... even to extremes. So no, it's not bashing the Catholics, it's not forsaking her religious past, it's just art. Kind of like the naked statues we see that are done by ancient greeks... is it porn? NO! It's ART. Keep it at that level, and there shouldn't be more to worry about. And if you are uncomfortable with it, don't watch it. It's okay to not expose yourself to what you think is evil. I probably shouldn't be watching this myself, as a Mormon. Anyway... I'm getting off this soapbox now, and moving to another one... haha
5:38 -- I LOVE THIS PART.
This part made me cry the first time I saw it. It is SO madonna. It is SO michael Jackson. It is SO iconic. This is probably the thing we will see when we think of Lady Gaga in fifty years. She's wearing pretty normal clothes, still bold, but normal. A classic bowl cut. And she's just dancing. She looks BEAUTIFUL here. I love watching this!
And they even change the Alejandro chorus by taking out the percussion, so it's something we've never heard before. Genius.
6:20 -- Also very Madonna esque, a gun bra.
It didn't even register to me that those were guns the first time I saw it. This is also a very iconic part of the video. The dancing is very well coordinated, and yes, there is definitely some homage (or maybe it's mockery?) of madonna going on here.
6:37 -- another Musical surprise
This time they leave nothing but the percussion. And we see Gaga as an almost gangster looking person with the leather jacket and the glasses and the microphone. We don't see Lady Gaga actually "performing" on a stage with a microphone in her videos (the only one I can think of is Just Dance) so this is interesting. And she's doing it behind a cross, which is more interesting. And when you get this with a bunch of juxtaposed images of her with a guy on a bed, and then the rosary, it makes you wonder what she's trying to say.
Say, I think she's performing in that room that all the guys were in at the beginning! I hadn't made that connection until now! She's performing for the men in that bar! Perhaps that's the bar that's burning down on the screen over and over again? A gay bar? Two and two begin to come together....
7:02 -- Who is this guy?
Who is this guy? Is this the famous Alejandro? What is he doing? He looks like a police officer... amidst this firey scene. Is he just watching as carnage wreaks before him? Is he being a brutal police officer to a bunch of lesbians? Or is he beginning to see the error of his prejudistic ways? Or is it something completely different? (once again, I'm working off of what lady gaga has actually said about the video... gay pride) Is he watching as Gaga gets molested by all thes beatles-cut dudes? What is with this guy? Why is he here at the climactic part of the video? Is he the same guy we saw at the beginning at the bar? Who is he?
He's cute... that's for sure.
Is this firey rally the same as the fight Gaga seems to be having with all the guys. She does seem to be putting up a fight with them.
7:41 -- All the different parts of the video come together in this part... the microphone scene, the nun, the military men, the fire, the fight, the madonna dance.
7:56 -- They're throwing her around... why?
So she's in this symbolically holy garb, they make her take it off and she's naked... touched, fought over, naked... what does this mean? Perhaps she's showing how she feels around straight men. Like how all the good is taken out of her and she's left with nothing but an object, a body.
8:24 -- The last image we see is that Evandro guy again, and her in the bed with the nun habit. And then her face kind of burns up... something I didn't see coming. She sort of became a monster then, which is the theme of this whole album she's created. The pure died. The monster emerged.

SO... Now I'll show you and tell you what GAGA has said about the video:

On Larry King:
In fact, the Alejandro Video, which will premiere very soon... is a celebration of my love and appreciation for the Gay Community, my admiration of their bravery and their love for one another, their courage in their relationships. It's something I have yet to nail on the head with a man, Larry.

On a French Interview:
“It's about the purity of my friendships with my gay friends. And how I’ve been unable to find that with a straight man in my life.

"It’s a celebration and an admiration of gay love – it confesses my envy of the courage and bravery they require to be together. In the video I’m pining for the love of my gay friends – but they just don’t want me.”

Glee Finale

2010-06-09T07:54:00.000-07:00

Glee finale? Eh.
It's okay. My favorite part was the Journey Medley. Bohemian Rhapsody was good too, but mostly because Jesse St. James was in it and he was incredible. I don't care how much of a jerk he is, he's still gorgeous and a great performer.
I also liked how Quinn had her baby right as regionals happened, but it's not realistic. First off... a woman about to have a baby would not be singing and dancing all over the place... particularly for an event as stressful as a show choir regional competition. The child that was supposed to be a newly born infant looked too old.
But there were definitely some good things. I liked it that they didn't place at regionals. Although it wasn't a perfect ending, it left us with something more to look forward to next season. And there's always the strange change of heart that Sue had at the end.
Josh Groban was a great cameo as well.... although not as good as I expected.

Glee: Theatricality

2010-05-27T14:53:00.000-07:00

So I've already said my whole bit about the "moral concept" of this episode on my other, more personal blog so this one's gonna be all about the GAGA.

First of all, I'd just like to say that it would be SO COOL if they could have an entire episode devoted to Lady Gaga like they did with Madonna, but of course they couldn't do that because Madonna and Lady Gaga are so much alike, and Gaga really hasn't hit enough meaningful numbers to make for a full episode about her. Maybe in a few decades, once we know whether or not she's gonna last. Then we'll talk about it. Moving on....

So the version of "Bad Romance" was MUCH more fun to listen to when it was accompanied with fun costumes and dancing. But I thought the whole song was HILARIOUS, rather than captivating or impressive. The dances, the poses, it was all so GAGA but for some reason the kids looked more ridiculous doing it. It was an intentional parody to Gaga, making the whole thing legitimate! But the song itself WASvery well arranged and put together. It kept true to the original, even though it was sung by a chorus of supposed high school kids. Of course, the original is definitely better.

Pokerface? That's another story...
First off, WHY POKERFACE? What kind of a mother-daughter bonding song is Pokerface?? It's about thinking about women while sleeping with a man? BLUFFIN WITH MY MUFFIN???? I would NEVER sing that song with my mom, no matter HOW good the arrangement is or HOW good of singers we are. Some things are just not done!
So, that's problem number one. Poor venue for the song. Poor song choice for the venue. It's one or the other, sweethearts...
Second off, while Idina Menzel and whoever-the-heck-the-girl-who-plays-Rachel-is are GREAT singers (fantastic!), the song just isn't as effective unless you got the pretentious Lady Gaga at a piano in a bubble outfit. I would rather have seen the full album version sung by all the kids than an intimate acoustic version that lacked attitude and pizzazz. It just didn't make any sense. No sense whatsoever. As a matter of fact, even when Lady Gaga sings it acoustic, the song still doesn't make sense. But at least you got Gaga there to distract you from the utter ridiculousness of the song. Sorry, Glee, I love your enthusiasm and your willingness to put this out there, but it just didn't work. Gaga is just not replaceable. You can make fun of her, but you can't replace her.

Lady Gaga "Stand By Me"

2010-05-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

this is REALLY good.

Israeli Singer Maya Buskila covers Lady Gaga

2010-05-25T08:09:00.000-07:00

A Nice Bad Romance with Ukelele

2010-05-25T08:06:00.001-07:00

SO EXCITED

2010-05-22T09:54:00.000-07:00

I'm seeing LADY GAGA in CONCERT on March 11, 2011.
I know it's a long way away, but it's worth it. I didn't think she was even COMING to Salt Lake City, and I was really bummed that I would be in Utah when she came to Minnesota. All my friends here in MN are jealous of me because I get to see her in UT. Minnesota tickets are hard to come by. She's really popular out here.

So yeah, I'm CRAZY excited. The better news is that I get to go with Katie, my best friend. There's no one I'd rather go with. She's the only person who understands me from pretty much every angle -- both the Mormon one, and the human one. So she won't judge me if I go GOOGOO over GAGA, who's probably not the best role model.

I am SO EXCITED.

My Top Favorite Bones Characters

2010-05-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

I love BONES.
In honor of the finale of the fifth season (which I felt was sort of an iffy finale), I will list my favorite characters IN ORDER.
The IN ORDER is important because I'm usually not very good at ranking things. Everything is usually too good to pick a favorite. But I will do my best here.

1. Temperance Brennan.
Believe it or not, my favorite character is both the main character and a female. Why? Well, she reminds me of me in a lot of ways. She is brutally honest and socially awkward. She thinks too much, very much like me. Our difference is mainly how we express our feelings in our work. She likes fact and focus. I am more free and creative in my outlets. But really, she is a genius, and it's nice watching someone that successful and intelligent still have problems. Everyone has their own burdens to bear. That's important.

2. Hodgins.
Yeah... I like Hodgins a lot. He's hilarious, intelligent, and the romance between him and Angela is adorable. He's the one-liner master in this show.

3. Booth.
Not only is he very attractive, he's deep. He's got baggage, too. His love for Bones is the kind that you can obviously see, but you never see it directly. Terefore, attempting to study his character is really fun.

4. Zack
Yeah, I know he's a psychopath and he hasn't been in the most recent seasons, I just really liked him while he was around. He was HILARIOUS. So smart, it was cute. He was my favorite part of the show when he was on.

5. Sweets.
Mainly because I understand him. He feels unloved and misunderstood. He also is really open with his feelings. And young, full of life, eager to please. I just like him.

While we're on the subject of Glee...

2010-05-16T17:08:00.000-07:00

I do like this show, by the way.

Of course I liked it better when I lived in BYU and had a bunch of girly roommates to obsess over it with me, but I still watch the show religiously every week. The characters are hilarious, the music is rocking, and there is definitely a lesson or two to be learned from these episodes...

HOWEVER...

I am disappointed in the newer episodes. They are not intriguing enough. The first set of episodes before their winer hiatus were VERY captivating because there were plenty of suspensful secrets, dramatic moments, and jaw-dropping emotional moments. Quinn's baby-daddy secret, for example, and Schuster and his wife. Things like that ended too quickly and now there isn't enough intrigue to keep me interested. There is some potential... Kurt's crush on Finn, Quinn's pregnancy, and Jesse's possible double-crossing business. But there is no tension being built! There's not enough drama, not enough suspense. Heavens. I want more. So that's my bit about glee.

My favorite Glee Characters:
Of course, Sue Sylvester. Kurt. Puck, and Emma. Mercedes seems like the sanest one, and that one dumb blonde cheerleader is just hilarious. And Artie is just cute. Everyone else just annoys me, particularly Rachel because she's just so gosh-darn obnoxious. And Finn is just stupid. And every time Quinn is on the screen I want to shoot the TV. Jesse's hot, but that's about it. As for Schuster, he does things that I just want to ask "WHY?" about. In general, the people in this show are almost too over-the-top, which can add to the humor but also irritate me to near violence. That's it.

GLEE GOES GAGA

2010-05-16T17:07:00.001-07:00

... And I'm SO EXCITED!!

Lady Gaga American Idol 2010

2010-05-05T19:48:00.001-07:00

Kaykaykay
ALEJANDRO.

1. Because I am already such a GAGA fan, I was a little too aware of the 'forest red-riding hood' scene she had going tonight on American Idol, which made for a slightly boring performance (for me). I'm sure others may have enjoyed a concept that was new to them, but for me, it was a passe show.
2. Her "Bad Romance" at the beginning was SO COOL. It was almost country! You know what I'm saying? Sort of a bounce to it that I have not yet heard before. Her vocalization during that number was also very impressive.
3. The outfit. I can't believe people can get away with wearing nothing but fishnet on public TV these days, but of course the one person who is actually willing to at least TRY to get away with it has to be Gaga. You gotta admit, she has courage. As for the strange black tulle hood garment thing... as my mom put it, "It got in the way." I liked it when she was seated on the piano, tho. Added a nice "riding hood" touch.
4. The dancers... what were they wearing????
5. The song is not as fun to listen to live as her other singles have been. "BAD ROMANCE" is just epic. Telephone has a definite bounce to it. But ALEJANDRO? It's more of an easy listening number, not a show-stopper.

So there's my bit about Lady Gaga (or as my mother calls her, lady GAG-a) on American Idol tonight, May 5, 2010. I liked her last appearance so much better. Pokerface gone rock-and-roll was just incredible. Now I think she's beginning to try too hard. Once again, quoting my mother, "She's trying to out-do herself all the time nowadays." And it's even worse now because you got people like Ke$ha and Christina Augiulera (however you spell her name) competing against her for the DIVA of the year.

Speaking of DIVAS, did you know Beyonce has a perfume line out now? It's called HEAT and I really wanna know what it smells like. :D TO MACYS!!!

Waiting

2010-04-30T06:33:00.001-07:00

Waiting not so patiently for May 5. That's when Lady Gaga performs on American Idol...

It's been a month since Easter, but so what?

2010-04-29T08:47:00.001-07:00

I watched Easter Parade last night. My favorite Fred Astaire movie.

It also makes me wanna go try on obnoxious hats.

Adam Lambert

2010-03-29T11:32:00.000-07:00

I really don't care about all the public hubbub he has caused these past few months. This man's incredible. I'm talking LEGIT talent that you just can't find anywhere. He's the kind of guy who truly deserves to be where he is. He has definitely earned the fame, and to be quite honest, he probably should have won Idol. He's not that bad-looking, either. Very few can pull off a look like his and still be considered a heartthrob amongst the general public. Yet he's on magazine covers all over the place.
But now that he's been given such a great opportunity, I suppose it's up to him what he does with it. If he wants to shine as a queer-looking boy who wears skinny pants, he should go for it. If he should make obscene gestures on live television, that's his problem. Hopefully he will understand the consequences of his decisions to make wise ones.

Pixar to the Max

2010-03-29T10:33:00.000-07:00

I think I am the only person in the country who didn't like UP.

It was a CUTE movie... Russell was an adorable little animated character. The story itself was very touching, and the balloon idea was great, I loved Kevin....
I sure wish it wasn't Pixar that did it, though. I give Pixar the greatest respect for making FUN movies. This movie was not fun. Fredericksen's wife's death at the beginning totally put the entire movie into this sad rut that I just could not get over. I saw every character as a victim to be pitied, and so I never ever smiled for the whole movie. Pixar movies are supposed to make you smile! What's wrong with this picture? Where is the light and color that I simply loved in Finding Nemo and even the Incredibles? It's missing the vibrant life that I love. But maybe that just comes with the territory of writing a story about an old man.
I don't like Pixar people-movies. They're not as interesting to watch as animated cars, rats, bugs, robots, or monsters. I find the human beings to be the low points of every pixar movie.
Another thing: The dogs annoyed me. They were pointless and silly and seemed like creativity's final gasp before dying. If you want dogs, make a dog movie. Don't just throw them in to what may have been a somewhat believable and understandable plot.

SSSSOOOOO...
Now that I have seen all Pixar movies currently in existence, I wish to rank them. Least favorite to first. One thing though: PLEASE don't think that I HATE any of these movies. I don't. They are all very good, high-quality movies that teach good lessons and fully entertain me. But there's always going to be a favorite, and here are mine:

10. Monsters Inc. -- Note that I have only seen this movie twice, which may have an effect on how much I appreciate it. The thing everyone loves about this movie is Boo, but little kids just do not make me ooh and aah like with everyone else. The movie was funny, but I felt like the plot was a little drag and I got a little annoyed with Mike's voice after a while. I also see little that I can take away from this movie. My favorite part was Mrs. Flint. You will find I get quite taken with memorable characters like her.

9. Up -- See above. Not as fun as I expected. The characters were very lovable, but not for the reasons I wished them to be.

8. The Incredibles -- Many of my friends think this is blasphemy. But I will repeat again that I get a little tired of Pixar people. This movie was ENTIRELY human beings. None of them had lips, except Edna, who was my favorite part. I could watch that entire movie just to see her. Superheroes, of course, make for a somewhat predictable, yet still entertaining plot. The music was excellent -- although not as good as Finding Nemo, in my opinion. What I really like about this movie is the emphasis they put on the importance of family, sacrifice, and communication. Those are important values that I think the world is beginning to discard.

7. Toy Story 2 -- Pretty good for a sequel. They maintained characters very well, and the new ones they added were good ones. But you sometimes get tired of the same Toys over and over again and it gets boring. I call this "sequel syndrome." I can only get so much of Woody and Buzz and the gang, so I worry about the third Toy Story that's coming out. Furthermore, there wasn't as much moral groundwork on this one, which was what I really appreciated about the first Toy Story.

6. Toy Story -- First off, Randy Newman's music makes the movie. I love it so much. And the toy concept works VERY well for a Pixar film, especially in its beginning stages. Characters were very toy-like, which impressed me. The plot was wonderful! It's a journey of self-understanding on a very childlike level. Plus, this one's a classic. The first. I quite like that.

5. Wall-E -- I feel like this one should be higher on the list because it is, I think, the most sincere. While the subject matter is incredibly BLATANT (that annoys me), I find myself wholly entertained besides the fact. Only a true genius could create that kind of balance between a sound focus on issues and a fun little story. Wall-E is a robot, but they do so well on his character, we begin to regard him as a human. That is masterful! The love story with Eve is touching for me. Two very different people.. I mean robots.. share this link that is beautiful. It's a beauty and the beast story.

4. A Bug's Life -- SUCH a good movie. I love the color!! Everything is green and purple and blue and it's just a work of art on a screen. This movie is also legitimately funny and quotable. There's a character for every type of person here. The plot is original, too, but bugs are hard things to write movies about. But the smallness and insignificance of them helps add to the great ideal that you can make a difference, even if you are small. The only problem I have with this movie is that my younger brother was obsessed with it and watched it over and over until I could recite the entire movie by memory.

3. Cars -- I find it absolutely incredible that I can look at a car -- a CAR -- and see a person. How do Pixar animators do it? They get it down to the mustache on Shick, Sally's pinstripe tramp stamp, and of course Mater's huge teeth. Characters are created out of CARS!!! CARS!!!??? Amazing. And it's all so colorful! Furthermore, it also teaches a great lesson: You can never do it alone.
I also have done some reasearch about Route 66 and found that the Pixar production crew REALLY took the time to learn about the culture of Historic 66. Many of the people along the way became inspirations for some of the characters. That is really neat. The time they took to learn about what they were filming makes the movie all that more meaningful.

2. Finding Nemo -- THIS is how you present deep topics to young audiences. Nemo is without a mother. He's handicapped. He has an over-protective father. These are all hot topics in the domestic world right now. But he is a fish -- not a human being -- so it doesn't hit so close to home to close people like me off. I love it when Pixar uses color, and this is the color crown jewel of the whole collection. The music is tear-jerking. I remember how desperately Marlin is trying to get out of the whale, and the music behind his cries just pull at my heartstrings. I learned a great lesson from this movie: We cannot control everything. Some things are just not predictable, and they shouldn't be. Dory is a great character, but she is just the beginning of the great depth this movie possesses. I will never get tired of this movie.

1. Ratatouille -- I laugh, I cry, I think, I don't think -- all in an hour and a half of Parisian rodentia. That takes some serious talent on a filmmaker's part. I think the plot is very very creative. How often do you think a movie proposal about a rat connoseur comes to the table and is actually taken seriously? And if I can think of anything to describe the way this movie was made, I would say it was taken very seriously. There is a deep meaning behind it that has layers and levels for different people with different levels of understanding. It teaches people to be themselves, to find what they value, and to make a difference. Everyone has a talent and a gift, and with bravery and work, dream can become realities. It also establishes the value of family and honesty and trust. So many good things in this movie. The Parisian setting is so delightful. The accents, the music, it creates a lovely mood. And come on, this movie is about FOOD. How can you not love it?
You know now that I don't like Pixar-people movies, but I must say that the animation of the people in this movie was much more unique and tangible than in Incredibles. They weren's so symmetrical and perfect. Colette is the best example of that. She looks real -- well, as real as Pixar has gotten so far. Linguini looks awkward. Skinner and Ego are great charicatures that are obviously larger than life. In the meantime, the rats possess enough human qualities to make them actually seem human. Remmy is adorable, too. Kids don't make giddy, but rats do. Something must be wrong with me.

Sherlock Returns

2010-03-27T13:24:00.000-07:00

I saw Sherlock Holmes again last night. I loved it more the second time because I could anticipate the moments I really liked. Those moments when he became lost in thought and observation. I really wish I knew a person like that.

I discovered Jude Law this time. He is quite cute. We were talking afterwards about how he presents Watson in a whole different light that people expected. Watson, for me, was a squat man with graying hair. Not at all the debonair Jude Law character.

Of course, Robert Downey is gorgeous, as always.

Sequel, please?

Harry Potter Survey

2010-03-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

List the books in order from your favourite to your least favourite.

Prisoner of Azkaban -- I was up all night reading this one. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin are wonderful characters. I love the Dementors. I love the ambiguous ending. It left me wanting more, and that's what a good serial book does.
Goblet of Fire -- Once again, the ambiguous ending makes the book. I also love the tiny hints of romance, the mini-challenges Harry needs to go through to find himself and prove himself. It's an intense book.
Sorcerer's Stone -- Because it's the first, the classic.
Deathly Hallows -- I love Snape.
Half-blood Prince -- More intrigue in this book. Character development is great. But I didn't like how little action was in this book. It's all memory-searching. It takes a long time to actually learn anything.
Order of the Phoenix -- This book seems like a waste of time. We want Voldemort! He just came back to life! And this book is hardly about Voldemort at all. Still good, though.
Chamber of Secrets -- I hardly remember any of this book. I think what makes a good book is its memorability.

List the movies in order from your favourite to your least favourite.

Half-Blood Prince -- the romance is funny and the Dumbledore scenes are excellent.
Goblet of Fire -- I don't understand why no one likes this movie! I thought it was done very well, very true to the book. The highlight of the story is Voldemort's return, but we don't even think about that until it gets there. I also love the moment between Cedric's father and his son when Harry comes back from the graveyard.
Sorceror's Stone -- Once again, it's first. It's classic. It's also so whimsical and happy. A good start to the series. The kids are so cute!
Chamber of Secrets -- It fits the book very well. Goes well with the first movie. I kind of like it for the same reason like number 1.
Order of the Phoenix -- I didn't like the book, so I didn't like the movie much better. I hate Umbridge.
Prisoner of Azkaban -- My favorite book, but my least favorite movie. I am not pleased with the director change, the flukes in the plot. The whole aura of this movie is kind of moldy. It lacks color and vibrancy. Order of the Phoenix was kind of that way too.

Top 5 favourite characters?

The Weasley Twins
Severus Snape
Remus Lupin
Ron Weasley
Hermione Granger

Five least favorite characters?

Dolores Umbridge
Lucius Malfoy
Cornelius Fudge
Stan Shurnpike
Ginny Weasley

Three favorite spells?

Expecto Patronum!
Accio!
Sectumsempra!

Three favorite potions?

Felix Felicis
Polyjuice
Love Potion

Favourite member of the Golden Trio? Hermione -- I relate to her
Favourite family? The Weasleys
Favourite antagonist? Voldemort, of course. But I like the Voldemort from the first two books the most.
Favourite death eater? Bellatrix Lestrange
Favourite chapter from your favorite book? In Prisoner of Azkaban, when Harry finally realizes who it was who conjured the patronus and saved Sirius's life. It was HIM. EXPECTO PATRONUM
Favourite non-Hogwarts magical building? I would say the Burrow.
Favourite Diagon Alley shop? Fred and George's Joke Shop
Favourite Hogsmeade shop? Zonko's
Favourite Unforgivable Curse? Avada Kedavera
Favourite mode of wizard transportation? Floo Powder
Favourite Weasley? The Twins.
Favourite Order member? Original Order? Harry's Parents
New Order? Lupin
Favourite DA member? Neville Longbottom
Favourite pet? Phoenix
Favourite Hogwarts room? Dumbledore's Office
Favourite Hogwarts professor? Lupin
Favourite non-human Hogwarts resident? Nearly-Headless Nick
Favourite Tri-Wizard champion? Krum
Favourite house elf? Kreatcher
Favourite wizard sweet? I always wanted to know what a pumpkin pasty tastes like
Favourite couple? Ron and Hermione
Favourite friendship? Lupin and Sirius
Biggest surprise of the series? Snape loved Lilly.
Biggest letdown of the series? Fred Dies.
One character you wish lived? Tonks
Moment that will make you cry? Fred Dies.
Your patronus would be a ______? Meh... a bird of some kind
Three things Amortentia would smell like to you: Paper, lilacs, and old spice
You would use Felix Felicis to ______? nail the audition for the school of music
Ron/Hermione or Harry/Hermione? Ron/Hermione.
James/Lily or Snape/Lily? I don't know. It would not be intriguing if there weren't a Snape/Lilly, but obviously James/Lily had to work or Harry would not have existed....
Do you think Harry Potter is better than Twilight? natrually!
Are you going to go see the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1 in theaters? Probably.
Do you own the books/movies? All but the sixth movie.
Have you ever played any of the video games? Not for a long time.
Don’t they kind of suck? Yes.
Do you think it would be cool to have a pet owl? Meh....
How about a rat? Nah.
Have you ever listened to the soundtrack? Parts of it.
Which house would you want to be in? Ravenclaw
Do you like Draco? meh.
Would you ever enter the Tri-Wizard Tournament? Heavens no
Do you keep your money in Gringotts? I'd rather keep it there than in my mattress.
What class would be your favourite? Divination and Potions
Do you think you would enjoy being a witch/wizard? Maybe.
Actor(s) most like the book character: Alan Rickman as Snape. Best. Choice. Ever.
Actor(s) least like the book character: The new Dumbledore but it's something that had to happen so I'm not complaining that much.
Favourite movie set: The Department of Mysteries.
Favourite movie scene: EXPECTO PATRONUM
Favourite scene in the movies not included in the books: I wanted more Dept. of Mysteries.
Scene you were most disappointed didn’t make it into the movie: St. Mungo's
Death Eaters or Dumbledore’s Army?: DA
Fred or George?: George. He's still alive.
The Ministry of Magic or Gringotts?: Gringotts. Though I really don't see why I have to pick between the two.
Sirius or Lupin?: Lupin
Occlumency or Legilimency?: Occlumency. Legilimency seems too evil.
Animagus or metamorphagus?: Animagus
Mermish or Parselmouth?: Parselmouth
Draco or Lucius?: Draco. I blame his father for everything that is wrong with him.
Peter Pettigrew or Mundungus Fletcher?: Peter Pettigrew.
Whomping Willow or flying Ford Anglia? Whomping Willow. I love the name.
Invisibility cloak or Pensieve?: Pensieve seems the most valuable and the least devious.
Grimmauld Place or the Burrow?: The Burrow
Werewolf or Inferi?: Wereworlf.
Herbology or Care of Magical Creatures?: Herbology
Professor Binns or Professor Umbridge?: Anyone but Umbridge.
Peeves or Nearly Headless Nick?: NHN
Hippogriff or Thestrals?: Hippogriff. I don't want to have someone die to make thestrals a part of my life....
Durmstrang or Beauxbatons?: Durmstrang. HOT BOYS.
S.P.E.W. or the Inquisitorial Squad?: I hate them both.
Portkey or Apparation?: Portkey. More quaint.

Good Song, Good Vid, Good Life

2010-03-03T12:53:00.000-08:00

I really wish my life were a little like this music video... at least the end of it.

Regina Spektor's "Fidelity"

Broaden your mind!!

2010-02-27T10:37:00.000-08:00

I was Sybill Trelawney for a Harry Potter Costume Party last night.

I wanted to be Bellatrix Lestrange but I'm glad I went as Trelawney. There were so many Bellatrixes at the dance. I only saw two Trelawneys besides myself, and neither were as good as mine.
Everyone says I fit the part of Trelawney well... I don't know about that, but okay. She's pretty weird, though. In a good way. I like the glasses and the headband.
I'm excited for the seventh movie. Oh yes, oh, yes.

Laura Veirs "July Flame"

2010-02-26T11:45:00.001-08:00

I love this song. I love this video. I love this girl. I really want to write songs like this someday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3azDdaFlu0&feature=related

I'm doing as the Romans Do...

2010-02-07T15:55:00.001-08:00

I saw When in Rome last night with my roommates, and it was really good.

It wasn't much different from any other chickflick, though.

The best part was definitely the four crazy lovers. There's even a Napoleon/Pedro moment, which was wonderful. JD from Scrubs also was in it. And Veronica Mars was in it... or at least the actress, Kristin Bell. She's a quirky actress. Very forward and comical. The guy was good, too. But once again, the four crazy guys were definitely the best.

More of a laughing than a crying movie.

Lady Gaga at the Grammys

2010-02-01T17:59:00.000-08:00

First off, she should have won album of the year.

Taylor Swift is hardly an artist. I admit, she writes good songs. They're songs about love and relationships and finding yourself and all these other great things... but she still belongs NOT on album of the year, NOT on top country album, NOT at the grammys.

Gaga has done more in one year than any other artist in HISTORY. How could she not win?

Anyways, to her fashions...

All her outfits this year were from Armani. I was surprised, a little, at how conservative and actually GLAMOUROUS a few of these were. If you compare these to her VMA treats they're a lot more understandable... well, as understandable as you can get in Gaga-Land...

This one was definitely my favorite. It kind of brought me back to her early days with the cubism crystal dresses, but it kept the amazing shoes. I don't see how this is any more extreme than the outfit Rihanna wore that same night.

That is just some amazing art on top of her head...

The performance itself was phenomenal. She kicked off the night with a bit of stageplay and "Pokerface," the one song that was up for some kind of award or another that night (she did win best pop/dance album of the year... and I think something else... so she didn't go home completely empty handed). I love the pink and green.

But anyway, after getting thrown down a chute, she appears with this amazing looking piano with arms on it (I scratch my head at the symbolism). And who should be there but ELTON JOHN!!! In green sequin glasses!!

How amazing is it to have such a grand legend as him sing "Speechless?" Amazing amazing amazing. I could watch this video a hundred times.

And of course there's her red carpet dress, which got everyone talking.

I like the yellow hair... and the great googie orb.

Apparently she wore a full body suit under the "orbit dress." She definitely won the outfit of the night, that's for sure.

Best of luck, next year, GAGA!!!!!

AVATAR

2010-01-27T10:21:00.000-08:00

It was okay...

Everyone's freaking out about it. Why?

Well, maybe because it took ten years to produce, or maybe it's the whole futuristic aspect that has peoples undies in a twist, but I really don't think it was that amazing of a plotline. Just Pocahontas except on another planet.

Don't get me wrong, I like the Pocahontas story. As I have said before, Disney's Pocahontas is one of my favorite movies. But there was singing in Pocahontas. It wasn't three hours long, and it wasn't a huge animation achievement. It was just Disney. Avatar is a little overworked for my taste.

Gotta say, though. I think Blue Jake looks cuter than Human Jake.

Barbie GAGA!!!!

2010-01-17T13:26:00.001-08:00

Lady Gaga on Oprah

2010-01-16T13:21:00.000-08:00

YES! I really liked this GAGA interview on the Oprah Winfrey Show yesterday.

She gave Oprah her own personal hairbow and glasses. :D

Check out her hair:
She had some wardrobe problems this performance... the big thing on her left shoulder kept falling down... but she dealt with it and it really wasn't all that bad...

PS January 24, all Gaga Merch and concert tix are going to go to Haiti. JUST Haiti. How cool is that??

Ice Skating

2010-01-16T13:11:00.000-08:00

I went ice skating last week and it was really fun. So I thought I'd blog about it... :D

I am from Minnesota, but I never really skated much. We bought some old ice skates from goodwill or play-it-again and most of the time they just gathered dust downstairs in the basement. But the city did fill up some hockey rinks around the neighborhood that we could come and skate for free in, and so we'd do that sometimes. I also took skating lessons at the city rink, which really didn't help much but it was an experience to remember nonetheless.

Anyway, out here at Seven Peaks there's a free skate evening on saturdays, so me and my roommates went and just skated around.

I felt like I was pretty good by the time the night was over. That's the thing about skating. The beginning you're terrible, but you get progressively better as you keep going. Soon I was skating circles around a few of my friends. The skates were ugly rental ones, though, and they made my feet look big and my ankles hurt. My roommate Arianne accidentally fell and hit her head really hard... but she was okay. Ashley needed someone to hold hands with her as she went. I spent time with her at the beginning and then Jeramy spent time with her at the end. Shelby was just good right off the bat, and Chad and Ellen were so cute skating together. I can't wait til I get to hold hands with someone on an ice rink.

My favorite part about skating is picking up a lot of speed and then just gliding at ten miles per hour and it feels so exhilirating!! Ah, skating. A good thing.

HOLMES!

2009-12-31T14:46:00.000-08:00

SHERLOCK HOLMES WAS AMAZING!!!!

1. I want to marry someone like him. His way of thinking is amazing. He's almost crazy, and I like it. I love his scenes when he deduces and analyzes his opponents -- the scenes where he sits and watches flies buzz around in a glass -- the scenes where he sits and analyzes Watson's future wife -- the scenes where he just keeps his intellectual cool in any situation. I love it.

A friend of mine hates this movie. He says Holmes is too much of an action hero in this film. I really don't think so. Sure, he's place in active situations, but the way he responds to them is in no way like the stereotypical action hero.

2. That time period was like the high life of the human ability. Everyone -- rich and poor -- was using every ounce of talent and thought and intelligence that they had. It's a romantic time.

3. The screenplay of this movie was dark. There was very little color in the whole thing. I love how moviemakers can create a habitat for viewers like that using just color, lighting, and camera motions. Costumes were also amazing, too.

4. Good casting. I wasn't totally distracted by how cute the male actors were, which is a problem I have in movies like Batman and Phantom of the Opera... Robert Downey Junior is an attractive fellow, but I was too busy listening to what HOLMES -- not Robert -- was doing and saying. That's wonderful.

5. Sequel? I hope so. But not right away. People need to relish this movie, first.

6. I should read these books... apparently they're amazing. I never really read a mystery novel before. Not like this one. Not with clues and deductive reasoning and non-omniscient perspective.

7. Sure wish he actually played the violin, though. Maybe next movie....

Two Good CDs...

2009-12-31T14:38:00.000-08:00

1. Rob Thomas -- Cradlesong
An excellent combination of intriguing lyrics and a great musical setting. Rob Thomas speaks from the heart, almost conversationally, about things he cares about, like family and getting over trials. And there are just great tunes!! He has a way with influencing people without being overpowering. I'm loving "Give me the Meltdown," "Snowblind," and of course his singles "Her Diamonds" and "Someday." Good easy listening. Good car music. Good work music.

2. Killers -- Day and Age
I have this feeling of moving forward when I listen to this CD. It's very emotionally progressive. The sound of Brandon Flowers' voice and the almost placid melodies behind a hard rock sound is almost haunting and restless. Some people can listen to the Killers and get preoccupied. I can't. Killers -- particularly this CD -- takes up all parts of your brain, even parts we don't always use. I'm loving "Spaceman" and "This is Your Live" and of course "Dustland Fairytale." You should see them perform these songs live. Epic.

The Material Gift: Scripture Study Session, November 14

2009-11-20T13:39:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday I went to a little discussion group thingy with two guy friends of mine. There's a student professor who teaches philosophy at UVU who has scripture study nights on Saturdays. We choose a passage of scripture and talk about what it means. I knew we'd go in depth, but I DIDN'T know we would end up talking about five verses for five hours!
At the beginning I was really quiet. But the minute I felt comfortable, I talked up a storm. This professor -- Brother Spencer, I think his name was -- is definitely a guy I wish to be like some day. He was SO intelligent and he just loves to think. He's read like every book on human thought imaginable, and he provided so much insight it was amazing. He also said I asked poignant questions, which made me feel very smart. To be complimented by a guy like Brother Spencer is definitely an honor in my book.

Anyway, what did we talk about for those five hours?

Our passage of focus was Moroni 7:6-10.
I will quote it....

"For behold, God hath said a man being evil cannot do that which is good; for if he offereth a gift, or prayeth unto God, except he shall do it with real intent it profiteth him nothing.
For behold, it is not counted unto him for righteousness.
For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God.
And likewise also it is counted evil unto a man, if he shall pray and not with real intent of heart; eya, and it profiteth him nothing, for God receiveth none such.
Wherefore, a man being evil cannot do that which is good; neither will he give a good gift."

REAL INTENT

What does it mean to give a gift or say a prayer "with real intent?" And what does the Lord mean when he says it "profiteth a man nothing" to give a gift grudgingly. When does it "not count for righteousness?"
In regards to Profit:
A double negative is not a positive conclusion.
In classical thought, if something isn't NOT A, it's A. But not all lines of thought see things this way.
So the term "profiteth him not" doesn't necessarily mean there's a way to actually get profit.
If we don't give a gift with real intent, we get no profit. But if we do give with real intent, that doesn't mean we'll get profit either. But the cool thing is if we give with real intent, we won't be looking for profit, so it doesn't matter. The minute you start looking for profit, you lose the profit. That's what the scripture actually means! All you have to do is give the gift! Do or do not. There is no try.

How do we pray with real intent?
Real intent: Without pride.
Pray with "our father" in mind.
"Thy will," not "My will."
Christ, when he taught us to pray, told us to "enter into our closets and secret places." AKA we should pray alone. Completely alone.

But then he goes on to recite the Lord's prayer, he tells us to use the words OUR FATHER. We're alone, yet we use the word "Our." What does this mean?
It's still collective. Consecrated. It's not about us.

"Vain repetitions" in prayer doesn't necessarily mean stuff that's repeated over and over again. We use vain repeitions all the time when we babble or when we use words we normally wouldn't say... "bless the hands that prepared it," "thank you for the moisture." Even "in the name of Jesus Christ" can be vainly repeated. Remember that.

THE MATERIAL GIFT
We put a "halo" around our gifts. We tie other seperate meanings to a gift. For example, we say, "I don't deserve this," or "I can't believe you took the time to get this for me," or "Oh, great, now I need to give something back." These are all halos. We do this for a ton of things. We take God's gifts of tribulations and trials, for example, and say "Well, let's think of all the things this trial is supposed to accomplish." Halo has just been created. We are not accepthing the gift for the gift itself. All gifts carry baggage for us.
Brother Spencer's ideal is to accept the MATERIAL GIFT for exactly what it is. No baggage attached. That way we are truly accepting the gift for the gift's sake, and without grudge. He believes gifts go through a MATERIAL CHANGE when they are given. I don't know if it's that extreme but there is definitely something to that. The minute you give something, it's not just that something; it's a gift. The question is, how do we define gift?

The atonement is a gift from God.
We want to earn it. Or we want to do something in return. But we can't. These are halos. Get rid of the halo. He's giving us eternal life. He is not asking us to justify or to even say thank you. He is just asking us to accept it.

My problem with this is I think a gift is supposed to have a certain halo.
A gift:
1. Required time and thought (see Aristotle's three causes below)
2. Is actually -- in retrospect -- a gift from God.
3. Is an opportunity to be Christlike. To be like God. To play God, almost. We can manipulate what we own in a righteous way by making it not our own anymore.

Aristotle Talks about Different Causes. I can remember three, though I don't remember what they are formally called. This is interesting.

1. The material.
Example: You need tools, metal, wood, land, manpower to create a building. Without proper earthly materials, the building could never exist.
2. The idea.
Example: Without the knowledge of structure, architectural principles, and the creativity to design a building, a building cannot be built. You need a blueprint, a plan, a thought.
3. The goal.
Example: A person needs to WANT to build a building before a building can be made/created/built. You need a desire, a goal, a will to create something.

Apparently there's also a fourth... I can't remember what it was.

God used these causes to create the world. He took materials that were already present, had a will to create earth, and had the knowledge to do it.

Creation out of nothing vs. Creation out of something already there.
Honestly, which one sounds more mystical? Obviously creation out of nothing.

Spirit = matter. Is there spirit matter in gifts?

THE NATURE OF MAN
Compare, in the passage, these two forms:
If man, being evil, vs. If man being evil
Do you see the difference? Both of these forms are used in the scriptures. We, personally, referred to the first of these two forms. This implies that all men are evil, and can only be evil. (Remember, natural man is an enemy to God).

Evil = Fallen. To be "fallen" is to be unable to do something you know you should do. We relate this to the idea that mankind is evil. The natural man is an enemy to God. It is fallen.

The opposite of the natural man is an immortal. Overcoming the fall.

One of my friends asked, "Why do man and God have to be so different? We're the same species!"
Perhaps it's really all about exaltation and an eternal perspective. We have the poential to be like him but we are still in a fledgling state. A bird in an egg is still a bird, but a full grown bird and an egg are very different.

THE IDEA OF OWNERSHIP
Law of Consecration:
Stewardship vs. Ownership.
You had to give everything up before you became a steward, which means the whole process originally began with ownership.
Giving, then, is redeeming an object from ownership...
Which is therefore redeeming an object from the fall...
Which is therefore giving an object back to God.
Maybe this is what is meant by the phrase, "Service of fellowmen = service of God."
Is that the material change Brother Spencer talked about?

Does that mean a gift is like Aristotle's cause of will?

What does it mean for God to own everything? Does this really mean we own nothing? Does that allow him to give things to us as he does?
Perhaps the eternal definition of ownership is different than ours. I, personally, believe God is able to actually own things because he truly and completely understands them. We do not. Perhaps it has also to do with the fact that he created everything. Do you own all things you create?
When God gives gifts, he is releasing stuff from his possession. Man then has dominion over it -- stewardship.

THE IDEA OF USE
Paul refers to "use" of a woman.
Not ownership. It's another relationship. It's about potential.
Prayer is use.

USE is what keeps things from being owned. That's what capitalism is. To own something but not to USE it. Not good.

So instead of putting that useless piece of junk grandma gave you on a shelf, give it to someone else so it can be used! So it can reach its full potential.

FAITH AND WORKS
Faith vs. Works vs. Forks... or Waith.
Those who base their life off of faith, alone, live in a telestial environment. It involves proclaiming belief but not following through, which is dishonest, telestial behavior.
Those who base their life off of purely works live in a terrestrial environment. There is a good desire, but reliance on the atonement is lacking, and this is deeply important.
Works AND faith is the celestial environment.

Faith is not an excuse to sin. But you don't have to save yourself, so now there's nothing stopping you from actually working.

Sin is a refusal to believe. Any time you sin, you lose grace, and must find it again. It is a symptom of unbelief. We also touched a bit on punishment.
According to Brother Spencer...

People worry about the big picture, but forget the small things. No good. True belief -- TRUE belief -- is fidelity. The minute you step away, you are no longer faithful.

Sin = Punishment = Misery.
(not to be confused with "Sin LEADS TO punishment LEADS TO misery.)
Sin IS punishment. People CHOOSE to be punished by choosing sin. And deep down, they know that. The reason people sin is because they WANT misery. In the end, people will realize that this is not joy and owe up to the fact that they are lying to themselves. But in the long run, we all choose where we end up going, and we all will be satisfied with that choice.

How I Feel about New Moon:

2009-11-20T09:03:00.000-08:00

EXCELLENT

Here are the 6 reasons why:

6.) It describes the emotions of the book well. The loneliness of Bella, and the need to see Edward, no matter what the cost. The need for distraction, the depression, the lack of understanding. It's all there. Sure, the screaming in the middle of the night was kind of played up, but it definitely brought out the good parts of the book. A rommate of mine said that this was the first movie she has seen that was better than the book, and I would have to agree. While the book series is.. well, meh... the plot was made for the screen, and I like what I see.

5.) Portrays the Voltori as a very creepy and very old clan of vampires. I really like the red eyes (except those on Dakota Fanning; those looked fake), the costumes, and the very ancient feel of the whole scene. I was not left disappointed.

4.) The CG animation of the wolves is realistic, which makes for much better action shots. I'm also liking the tats on the wolf men. A nice little addition. Effects, scenes, and costumes, in general, were a lot less plastic in this movie.

3.) They've made the entire Cullen family, particularly Alice, more of a part of the personal story of Bella. I was a little worried in the first movie because Alice didn't seem like that much of a FRIEND to Bella, but the email narration in the second movie fixed that problem. New Moon actually fixed a lot of problems found in Twilight. As a matter of fact, this movie totally pulverized the first one. Vampires looked meaner, the love intrigue grew, and there isn't as much staring into each other for five whole minutes without anything happening (of course, there still is some of that, but if that totally went away, it wouldn't be Twilight...)

2.) Jacob is a good guy. I'm really growing tired of this whole "Team Edward/Team Jacob" thing because there are good and bad things about both of them. There IS a legitimate reason why Bella has trouble choosing between them. To be honest, I always was a bit of a Jacob fan. I liked his spirit. While Edward is an old soul -- protective, fatherly, passionate, and thoughtful -- Jacob is a bit more down-to-earth. He is young, naiive, eager to please, and (in my opinion) a lot easier to spend time with. Jacob is a lot more REALISTIC than Edward is. They are polar opposities. Warm and cold, young and old -- and this is as it should be. Even their body shapes depict that difference. There really should be no "better guy" between these two because it's sort of because of one that the other exists. Bella needs both yin and yang in her life. She cannot truely love Edward without experiencing a different love first. So while Jacob can be a little bit forward and headstrong, this is something Bella -- and the plot -- needs. This movie really pushed that idea.

Jacob was Bella's only source of happiness when Edward left. Jacob later became a part of her secret and a part of who she is. I am glad Jacob is seen in such a positive light in this movie... which leads me to my number one reason why this movie was so great...

1.) You probably saw this one coming from a mile away, but Taylor Lautner really converted me to Team Jacob, purely because of his absolutely amazing body. I would like to publicly thank Stephanie Meyer for creating a character who must be shirtless for over half of the movie!! I always was a huge Rob Pattinson fan -- I think he even was up to number four on my list at one point. But man, Lautner really grew up. Apparently, in order to keep the role, he had to get that buff within a matter of months. I deeply congratulate him. Number 1 at this point, for me.

Yes, there's the near eight-pack and the broad shoulders, but we can't forget the gleaming white teeth, the perfectly proportioned lips, and the boyish ears. Lautner has a unique bright (canine?) smile that lights up the screen. Excellent casting. I'm glad they had faith in him.

I don't understand why no one liked the long hair. It made him look particularly Native American, and that was kind of hot. But, of course, the short hair definitely makes him look older, and the whole idea of this movie was to show that Jacob's not just a kid anymore, but a man.

All my roommates commented that seeing Edward shirtless at the end of the movie was kind of a letdown after so much Lautner... but, as I already stated, they both have very different beauties about them. With Edward, there's this stone quality. This man is unmoveable, unshakable in his devotion, and silently powerful. With Jacob, the warm, welcoming life that every girl really wants (how Bella is able to constrain herself when she hugs him in her bedroom is absolutely astounding to me). My point in saying this is that, while Lautner's physique definitely made the movie, Pattinson is not left that far in the dust. And we must all remember: In the end, Bella does not just base her love off of appearance. Good for her.

OH SO FINE!!!

I hate to make such a big deal about such a... well... shallow part of the movie. But I tried to add in more intellectual stuff before and, I admit, hot bodies are definitely something I think of often. Live with it.

I guess I could quickly list some of the things about this movie I didn't like:

1. I almost forgot Edward existed halfway through the movie. Whenever he appeared in Bella's mind, or whenever he was mentioned, I suddenly would remember that HE'S the main character. So while the emphasis on Jacob was good, perhaps the emphasis on Edward could have been better?

2. I already mentioned Dakota Fanning's eyes. They tend to overemphasize the red eyes sometimes.

3. Kristen Stewart is far from an amazing actress. Granted, her skills have improved, but I really don't think she's acting much in these movies. I bet she acts the exact same way in real life. Even in the most dangerous and traumatic of circumstances, she seems to exude this apathetic, glazed-over look. Doesn't work for me.

4. Of course, there are the problems I have with Stephanie Meyer's writing. It's hard to create an absolutely AMAZING movie out of a blah book. I applaud the directors for how much substance they actually were able to pull out of this series. Once again, Stephanie Meyer has a way with amazing movie-worthy plots. NOT character development, NOT mythological accuracy, and NOT descriptive and impressive language.

I should probably mention that New Moon was my favorite of all the Twilight Books. It's everyone else's least favorite, but I like it because of Jacob and because I can relate to the feelings Bella felt over losing her first love. Really... It's like time is a blur. The loss of interest, the hunger for distraction, the empty feelings. That's all there for a female who has lost someone like that. I believe Meyer might have had some firsthand experience with this, because she portrays it very realistically. This is the only real intellectual boon the book series has.

CDs I wish to get

2009-11-12T22:47:00.000-08:00

Rob Thomas the new CD I can't remember what it's called...
Dashboard Confessional "After the Ending"
Lady Gaga "Fame Monster"
Breaking Benjamin "Dear Agony"

Happy Autumn!

2009-11-10T21:28:00.000-08:00

Some autumn pictures I took around Heritage Halls. Enjoy!!

From college

2009-10-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

Some cool stuff I've found since I've gotten to BYU...

A Picture I took at my Bishop's house. I was so bored.

http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/435679/paparazzi-live.jhtml#id=1620606

Lady Gaga at VMA'S. A stunning performance.

A picture Devin took of a Balloon at a BYU game. I only went to one Cougar game, myself, and while I was there, he kept making fun of me about how I seemed to be more interested in the floating balloons than the game. The next game he went to, he took this picture for me and sent it to Ashley's phone, along with the text "Show this to Helena. It's a balloon."
You can hardly even see it. But I appreciate the thought.

Then there's a little poetry...
I've had this obsession with mirrors lately. How much truth do they reveal, and how much to they have to teach me about myself and my mission in life?

A mirror
Is just glass
It can lie, can't it?

I look down at my hands
(I have hands?)

Who am I?
"be yourself"
well...
who is it?

is it me?
or the girl in the mirror?
or am i her?
the girl he sees?

Who am I?
that's not the question.

I know who I am.
I'm Hannah.
I have hands.
And eyes -- (both inside and outside)
to view my reflections.

I can see who I am.
I know who I am.

It's who I want to be...
That's the bigger question.

An Exciting Spiritual/Scientific Discovery!!!

2009-09-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

So it all started today in Music Civilization class when we were listening to a lecture on Greek Philosophy. My professor mentioned a scripture in Doctrine and Covenants: Section 3, verse 2:

"For God doth not walk in crooked paths, neither doth he turn to the right hand nor to the left, neither doth he vary from that which he hath said, therefore his paths are straight, and his course is one eternal round."

My professor pointed out the paradox of this passage. God walks in straight paths, yet it's one eternal round? Straight? Round? How can you walk in a straight line, but still in a circle? My professor thought up some logical ideas... Maybe God walks in an upward spiral, or maybe the words "path" and "course" mean different things in the scriputures. He concluded by saying there are some things we probably won't understand while we're here on earth, and this is one of them. Either way, it was something to think about.

Then, on that very same day, I went to my physical science class and we talked a bit about the speed of light and the discoveries of Einstein. Near the end of the lecture, my Physics professor discussed the topic of the theory of relativity. It's a difficult topic to explain, so I think I'll let someone else do it. I'll quote my science book:

"Recall that the first law [of gravity] says objects drfting in empty space without applied forces go straight without accelerating. Einstein theorized that orbiting objects are doing just that, going straight through space (and time). However a large body like the Earth affects the space and time surrounding it,causing them to "curve." When the Moon moves, it follows the straightest possible path through curved space and time, which happens to be an orbit. Massive objects extend a gravitational influence by altering the space that surrounds them!

"The curving takes place in the four dimentsions of space and time and is impossible to visualize fully. However, it can be illustrated in two dimensions by stretching a rubber sheet across a wire hoop and placing a heavy ball bearing in the middle... The ball bearing causes the sheet to sag so that a smaller bead rolling on the edge will naturally curve around in a circle. By analogy, the Moon moves in an orbit around the Earth, following the curved space and time caused by the Earth.

"An extraordinary claim like this demands extraordinary proof. Predictions based on this theory have been tested in laboratories worldwide, passing every tim e. The global positioning system uses this theory to create accurate positions that otherwise could be off by several kilometers per day. Perhaps the most stark and irrefutable demonstration is... the image of a cluster of galaxies containing an incredible amount of mass. Light from more distand galaxies located behind the cluster curves through the space surrounding it, forming the arcs seen surrounding the cluster. Curved space and time is the only possible explanation for this visual phenomenon."

Do you see the connection between what I learned in the scriptures and what I learned in my physics class?

How interesting this is to me!! The laws of physics, themselves, are, in many ways, a paradox! Just like in D&C Section 3!! While the moon orbits the earth in a straight line, we see it as a curved one because space and time are warped in our view. It's path is straight, but it's course, as we percieve it, is one eternal round! Perhaps that's how things work in heaven as well? God's kingdom, undoubtably, is made of spiritual matter, matter we cannot see with our own eyes. This spiritual matter may be able to warp time and space, just as all other physical matter does. The consequences of this idea may be the explanation for all dealings in the universe. I don't know for sure, of course, but I have been told many times that God follows laws -- scientific laws -- when he governs nature, and to me this is a stunning example.

I just thought this was a cool link between faith and science. Sometimes they really do compliment each other.

CDs I got this week

2009-07-06T20:58:00.001-07:00

From FYE:
... something to be -- Rob Thomas

Hopes and Fears -- Keane

History, Disc 1: All Their Greatest Hits -- Barenaked Ladies
Mad Season -- Matchbox Twenty

The Fame -- Lady Gaga

From the Library:
Under the Iron Sea -- Keane

Diva: The Singles Collection -- Sarah Brightman

The Young and the Hopeless -- Good Charlotte

Millenium -- Backstreet Boys

More than you Think you Are -- Matchbox Twenty

Also got The Stand by Stephen King
And a new phone

INSOMNIA

2009-07-05T23:09:00.001-07:00

Clotho smiled.
[You didn't imagine it. Try to think of life as a kind of building, Ralph -- what you would call a skyscraper.]
Except that wasn't quite what Clotho was thinking of, Ralph discovered. For one flickering moment he seemed to catch an image from the mind of the other, one he found both exciting and disturbing: an enormous tower constructed of dark and sooty stone, standing in a field of red roses. Slit windows twisted up its sides in a brooding spiral.
Then it was gone.
[You and Lois and all the other Short-Time creatures live on the first two floors of this structure. Of course there are elevators--]
No, Ralph thought. Not in the tower I saw in your mind, my little friend. In that building -- if such a building actually exists -- there are no elevators, only a narrow staircase festooned with cobwebs and doorways leading to God knows what.

Ralph favored him with a bright, bitter smile.
["There goes freedom of choice, I guess."]
Lachesis: [You mustn't think so! It's simply that what you call freedom of choice is part of what we call ka, the great wheel of being.]

Lachesis: [There is no such thing as natural death, not really. Our job is purposeful death. We take the old and the sick, but we take others, as well. Just yesterday, for instance, we took a young man of twenty-eight. A carpenter. Two Short-Time weeks ago, he fell from a scaffold and fractured his skull. During those two weeks his aura was]
Ralph got a fractured image of a thunderstruck aura like the one which had surrounded the baby in the elevator.
Clotho: [At last the change came -- the turning of the aura. We knew it would come, but not when it would come. When it did, we went to him and sent him on.]
["Sent him on to where?"]
It was Lois who asked the question, broaching the touchy subject of the afterlife almost by accident. Ralph grabbed for his mental safety belt, almost hoping for one of those peculiar blanks, but when their overlapped answers came, they were perfectly clear.
Clotho: [To everywhere.]
Lachesis: [To other worlds than these.]

Lachesis: [It's the north side of the Civic Center that Deepneau's plane will strike. This little boy will be killed instantly if steps are not taken to prevent it ... and that can't be allowed to happen. This boy must not die before his scheduled time.]

Clotho: [Listen, then. Every now and again a man or woman comes along whose life will affect not just those about him or her, or even all those who live in the Short-Time world. These people are the Great Ones, and their lives always serve the Purpose. If they are taken too soon, everything changes. The scales cease to balance. Can you imagine, for instance, how different the world might be today if Hitler had drowned in the bathtub as a child? You may believe the world would be better for that, but I can tell you that the world would not exist at all if it had happened. Suppose Winston Churchill had died of food-poisoning before he ever became Prime Minister? Suppose Augustus Caesar had been born dead, strangled on his own umbilical cord? Yet the person we want you to save is of far greater importance than any of these.]

He was an amazingly competent artist already, only four years old or not ("My little genius," Sonia sometimes called him), and his picture was much better than the color-it-in poster on the other side of the sheet. What he had managed before the lights went out was work a gifted first-year art student might have been proud of. In the middle of the poster-sheet, a tower of dark, soot-colored stone rose into a field of roses so red they almost seemed to clamor aloud. Standing off to one side was a man dressed in faded bluejeans. A pair of gunbelts crossed his flat middle; a holster hung below each hip. At the very top of the tower, a man in a red robe was looking down at the gunfighter with an expression of mingled hate and fear. His hands, which were curled over the parapet, also appeared to be red.
Sonia had been mesmerized by the presence of Susan Day, who was sitting behind the lectern and listening to her introduction, but she had happened to glance down at her son's picture just before the introduction ended. She had known for two ears that Patrick was what the child psychologists called a prodigy, and she sometimes told herself she had gotten used to his sophisticated drawings and the Play-Dough sculptures he called the Clay Family. Perhaps she even had, to some degree, but this particular picture gave her a strange, deep chill that she could not entirely dismiss as emotional fallout from her long and stressful day.
"Who's that?" she asked, tapping the tiny figure peering jealously down from the top of the dark tower.
"Him's the Red King," Patrick said.
"Oh, the Red King, I see. And who's this man with the guns?"
As he opened his mouth to answer, Roberta Harper, the woman at the podium, lifter her arm (there was a black mourning band on it) toward the woman sitting behind her. "My friends, Ms. Susan Day!" she cried, and Patrick Danville's answer to his mother's second question was lost in the rising storm of applause:
Him's name is Roland, Mama. I dream about him, sometimes. Him's a King, too.

They emerged at last into the corridor. A few deeply shocked people wandered back and forth, eyes dazed and mouths agape, like zombies in a horror movie. Sonia hardly glanced at them, just got Pat moving toward the stairs. Three minutes later they exited into the fireshot night perfectly unscathed, and upon all the levels of the universe, matter both Random and Purposeful resumed their ordained courses. Worlds which had trembled for a moment in their orbits now steadied, and in one of those worlds, in a desert that was the apotheosis of all deserts, a man named Roland turned over in his bedroll and slept easily once again beneath the alien constellations.

The Beethoven Factor

2009-06-29T14:22:00.001-07:00

Some good quotes from The Beethoven Factor, a book about positive psychology and the art of thriving. It's by Paul Pearsall.

"This fascinating new field has discovered that happiness is not just the absence of unhappiness or the presence of lucky circumstances. It reverses that assumption by saying that unhappiness is the absence of our natural state of happiness." -- xxxvi, Introduction, "Joy from the Inside Out"

"...mental health was much more than the absence of mental illness."
-- xxv, Preface, "Remarkably Ordinary"

"We all have relatives who violated almost every health warning and lived long and well. We also know of people who seemed to religiously try to follow every healrth warning and directive and yet died young. There is something more that causes us to be healthy, and that something more is the concern of positive psychology." -- xli, Introduction, "Lessons from the Health Reprobates"

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." -- John Milton, Intro to Part 1. I really really like this quote.

Six Reactions to Life's Challenges:
1. Stress Response: "Fight-or-flight," Basic survival body systems, catabolic ("energy-burning") mode.
2. Relaxation Response: Calming down from stress response. Body systems slow down.
3. Survival: Lifesaving action. Only needed body systems are functioning.
4. Recovery: Body systems return to balance; healing.
5. Resilience: Full return to "pretrauma" state. Person is no worse off than he was before trauma occurred. Back to normal.
6. Thriving Response: We're better than we were before. Use of psychological immune system. "Tend-befriend-comprehend" reaction.

... "Consciousness creators"... decide what will or will not be on their minds and do not reacively surrender their consciousness to the negative power of whatever is happening to them.
-- P. 6

Five Phases of Coping With Crisis:
1. The Kindling Reaction (Worsening) Includes worry and venting. Debilitating to both the victim and others.
2. The Suffering Reaction (Victimized) Self-pity. Dibilitating to victim and even more to others around him/her.
3. The Surviving Reaction (Existing) Moving out of the Kindling/suffering cycle, but not always permanently. Victim accepted into society, but not fully healed.
4. The Resilience Reaction (Recovering) Near permanent removal from beginning stages; victim is just as he was before trauma occurred, and fully accepted into society.
5. The Thriving Reaction (Flourishing) Victim learns something from trauma and is a better person because of it. Embrace life and trials that come with it. The ultimate goal.

"Just as junk food tastes good but is not good for us, venting makes us feel temporarily good. In the long run, however, it is terrible for our health... The one thing we can be sure of when we let our anger or negative feelings out is that we will become een angrier and end up making ourselves and others feel worse... We are not hydraulic steam machines that need to have our pressure released to prevent explosion. Thrivers learn this fact of life... Under pressure, the first thing they do is nothing."
-- pg. 10

"The act of construing is the process of mentally interpreting and framing life events in our own way. One of our most distinguishing and powerful human traits is our innate ability to interpret and assighn meaning to what happens to us, to focus our attention where, when, as deeply as we decide, and to be the masters of the content of our consciousness."
-- pg. 10

"Thriving is the mental and emotional opposite of worrying because it involves construing a way out of and beyond a real and existing problem, not ruminating about what may be in store for us."
-- pg. 10

"Worrying is one of the most mentally exhausting things we can do. It is like racing the engine of our car when it is in neutral gear."
-- Pg. 10. I am such a worryer.

"I worry, but what worries me most is when I start worrying about worrying. I used to worry that I was worrying or even worry that I was not worrying enough. It sounds stupid and funny for a shrink to say that, doesn't it? NowI do what I call wiser worrying. I don't go round and round about a problem. For me, a worry is like a memory or reminder. I think about it and then try to figure out something to do about it. For me, a worryi is an alarm to do something or figure something out. I think most worrying is being nervous about the future and frightened by the past, so I want to pay more attention to the now. Worrying really takes you out of the present, which is where you need to be if you're going to solve a problem. I think I've become a wiser worrier lately. I think and then try to come up with a new way of thinking."
-- Thriver, quoted on pg. 11

"About 40 percent of what we worry about will never happen. Another 30 percent concerns old decisions, which we cannot change. About 12 percent is related to criticism of ouselves that are not fair ad made by people who feel inferior to us. Another 10 percent of our worrying is related to our health, and worrying only makes us sick. About 8 percent of our worrying is worth the effort because it can help us find a starting point for doing something about whatever it is that is worrying us. If we resist wasting our time on the useless 92 percent of our worrying, we can get busy doing something about the 8 percent that needs our full attention."
-- Ohana member, quoted on pg. 11. I have a lot to learn from this one.

"If we are aware of and try to get through the first two crisis reaction stages as quickly as possible, the result is the increasing social support and caring thjat comes from people who feel comfortable, competent, and safe enough to get close to us again."
-- pg. 14

"...Thrivers are 'emotionally elevated.' Elevation is characterized by warm, pleasant, tingling feelings in the chest, feeling the need to hold, hug, and help others, and feeling energized and optimistic about ife in general."
-- Pg. 17

"He was a young comedian diagnosed with cancer. I was speaking with him when a nurse entered his room to ask if she could take his pulse. With the humor that is so charactiristic of thrivers, he joked, 'No thanks. I need it.' As the nurse placed her fingers on his wrist, he looked at me with tears in his eyes. He said, 'You know. I've learned one thing in all this. Being fully alive is not just having a pulse. It's feeling like you are pulsating.'"
-- pg 24

Questions to Ask about Thriving:
- Do you feel more alive today than yesterday?
- Are you free from worry?
- Do people seem to be made happier by your presence?
- Are you laughing hard every day?
- Are you crying hard every day?
- Do you feel in love with life?
- Are you in love?
- Do you feel loved?
- Have you been made stronger by adversity?
- Do people turn to you for strength and comfort?
- Do you often feel overwhelmed by the grandeur and beauty of simple things?
- If you were to die today, would byou feel you have fully lived?
You don't have to cry every day to live. Some people experience joy in different ways.

"Izzie, the death camp survivor, said of [self-help books], 'I think a waist is a terrible thing to mind. I almost starved to death when I was in that Nazi prison. I don't worry anymore about controlling my appetite or my weight. When I step on the scale and numbers roll up, I feel relieved. it's like I'm becoming more and more alive. My body was healthy enough to survive the garbage we ate there, so I'm not that worried about dieting now. I'd sooner go to the cookbook section and find a book on tasty fattening food for the joyfully obese.'"
-- pg. 27. Not sure I totally agree with this one, but I thought it was interesting.

"As one of the invincibles put it, 'The talent to thrive is the ability to happen to the world instead of allowing it to always happen to you.' Thrivers are the architects of their own consciousness... They become their own meaning-makers, mental illusionists who take whatever happens to them and transform it to find challenge where others see only disaster."
-- pg. 29

"The miracle of thriving is that we were made to be agents with free will. To offer up the 'I couldn't help it' excuse squanders one of our most powerful human abilities, our capacity to deal constructively and effectively with almost any challenge by assigning our own meaning to it and using our innate emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual skills to develop that meaning."
-- pg. 30 I totally agree with this one.

"Here is another one of my simple science experiments. It was designed to look at whether we have an optimistic or pessimistic explanatory style.
The next time you have a drink from a full glass of soda or some other fluid, drink only half of it. Before you take your next drink, stop and seriously ask yourself, 'Do I in fact see this glass as half-full or half-empty?' If you are drinking with someone who knows you well, ask that person how he or she thinks you see the glass. How you honestly answer the question says a lot about the meaning you are now assigning to your thriving potential at this time in your life."
-- pg. 30 My impression is this: Instead of deciding whether or not the glass is half-empty or half-full, you should be savoring the fact that you've already drunk and enjoyed half of it.

Compare:
"From the moment you are born, you begin to die. We are all dying."
to
"I was born to live ant thrive through all that life offers, no matter how stressful... Learning to thrive allows us to be free of our fear of death because we give our lives a meaning that transcends physical endings."
-- pg 31

Another thing I don't quite totally agree with:
"Dire warnings worry us, but they don't seem to do much to significantly change our behavior. Despite warnings of the danger of eating meat, most of us still eat it, but we do so with a 'glutton guilt' that interferes with our enjoyment of a juicy steak and makes us feel as if we are hopeless health reprobates slowly but surely killing ourselves. Most of us know our parents were far from perfect, but until the recent emphasis on dysfunctional families and scarred inner children, we thought we had become stronger because of our upbringing and all its flaws."
-- pg. 35. Enjoying life doesn't mean abandoning good decisions.

More that I'm unsure of:
"Thrivers are more likely to be found lying on the couch eating poato chips than panting on a treadmill at the health club. They are more likely to be sitting quietly on their porch watching the day go by than attending a seminar on personal power. YOu may find a few of them running in marathons, but more of them are likely to be walking joyfully at the end of the race or sitting on the curb with their families watching in amusement as gaunt-looking runners pant past in their knee braces. You are more likely to meet one of them while strolling along a garden path than in the aisles of a health food store. I met some myself while standing in line at an ice cream parlor. They are not worriers, so don't expect them to be up-to-date on the latest reason they should not be eating ice cream."
-- pg. 36
I know someone named Pam G. who runs marathons down to the last yard, who prefers a healthy salad over a bowl of ice cream, who goes to church and women's seminars to learn more about what she can become, and I believe she thrives. Thriving is more than just accepting who you are, it's wanting to be more. It SHOULD be a want to improve yourself, not a want to stay in one place. Those who take medical research and advice lightly often end up paying for it. And while they, themselves might be able to embrace the bad consequences due to their "flourishing nature," those they love might not. It's harmful to those around them as well as to themselves. What we SHOULD be doing is taking care of ourselves, but enjoying every minute of it. Run on the treadmill, but will yourself to like it. As he says, it's mind-over-matter. But it should be applied differently than the way he says.

"In a culture that emphasizes the value of beating the odds, being a fighter, and struggling to get a piece of the pie, we often lose sight of how to enjoy the pie."
-- pg. 37

"Researchers have learned that when biofeedback works, it does so when the person feels that they 'just let' relaxation happen to them rather than trying to 'make' it hapen. In the positive or salutogenic view of life, we can be naturally relaxed, balanced, well beings who don't have to 'try' to be that way. We only have to let ourselves 'be' that way and stop getting in the way of our phychological immune system by striving to overcome adversity or be all we can be.
-- pg 37. Running those marathons help us be all we can be, in my opinion.

Cool Pictures #1

2009-06-26T22:38:00.001-07:00

"He Ain't the Leavin' Kind" by Rascal Flatts

2009-06-26T09:04:00.001-07:00

I just realized what this song means... and the first verse particularly gets to me. I got goosebumps listening to this song when I finally figured out who "He" was.

They tried their best to drag him out
of a courthouse down in Montgomery.
And now they wanna kick him out of school,
and take him off our money.
They can take those words off of paper and stone,
but He ain't gone.
No

He ain't the the leavin' kind.
He'd never walk away --
even from those who don't believe,
and wanna leave Him behind.
He ain't the leavin kind.

She stayed mad at Him for a lot of years
for takin' her husband.
Started losin' her faith,
and thinkin' that her life meant nothin'.
But when she looks at those kids she raised all by herself,
she knows she had some help.
Yeah, she knows...

He ain't the leavin' kind.
He'd never walk away --
Even from those who don't believe,
and wanna leave Him behind.
He ain't the leavin' kind.

No matter what you do,
No matter where you go,
He's always right there with you.

... Even from those who don't believe,
And wanna leave Him behind.
He ain't the leavin' kind.
No, No.
He ain't the leavin',
He ain't the leavin' kind.
He ain't the leavin',
He ain't the leavin' kind.

Gifts:

2009-06-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

\/Katie Livingston: bracelet made from pink/blue butterfly beads and a pipe cleaner. Simple, yet sweet

Emily Broich: How about a nice poem by keats written on a pretty sheet of paper with nice calligraphy?

Ellen: Something musical... maybe a necklace?

Jess Stover: A comic strip!

Laura: A short piano sonata

\/Zach o'connor: a turkey!!!

Rachel: Paint a picture

Maggie: CD full of good free the61 music

Rachel Barker: An acrostic poem on nice paper

Charmaine: A box. :D

Chris Nelson: plastic spoon doll. :D :D paint it nice.

Sam: Decorate a Notebook

CDS

2009-06-12T09:04:00.000-07:00

Michael: Night Swimming -- REM
This Town -- OAR
Ocean -- John Butler Trio
One Last Breath (six feet from the edge) -- Creed
Mr. Brightside -- Killers
War on Drugs -- Barenaked Ladies
Stars -- Les Mis
When the Heartache Ends -- Rob Thomas
Streetcorner Symphony -- Rob Thomas
We'll Never Know -- Lifehouse
These Words -- Natasha Bettingfield
'til I can make it on my own -- Billy Gilman (maybe record one yourself?)

Zack:Pinch Me -- Barenaked ladies
Everlong -- Foo Fighters
Free to Be Me -- Francesca battistelli
Something to Talk About -- bonnie Raitt
Change Your Mind -- Killers
Razzle Dazzle -- who knows?
Take a Chance on Me -- Abba
Poison -- Alice Cooper
War on Drugs -- Barenaked Ladies (record your own version :D)

WHAT IS THE REAL LOVE MEDICINE?!

2009-05-27T10:15:00.001-07:00

http://www.answers.com/topic/love-medicine-novel-7

More About "Blue Boy"

2009-05-20T09:48:00.000-07:00

-- Friday, May 8
-- Rakesh Satyal Blue Boy
-- Magers and Quinn Bookstore
-- Rakesh Satyal
= Graduate from Princeton in Editing
= Indian Background
= Also wrote The Man I Might Become: Gay Men Write About Their Fathers
-- Summary
= Boy named Kiran
= Indian family living in the United States
= Effeminate Tendencies; ex: dance, Makeup
= Story about Acceptance, growing up

-- Last Thoughts
= Highly Recommend it
= Great Character Building; amazing attention to detail
= A book worth reading.

JON SCHMIDT LOVE STORY MEETS VIVA LA VIDA!!!

2009-05-18T17:57:00.000-07:00

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=88575796713&h=ZWEcR&u=m6pHd

This made me cry. I love music.

Lady Gaga Bow!

2009-05-14T18:54:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYn23fg-bO4&feature=related

Lady Gaga BOW!!!

Little Big Man

2009-05-12T14:31:00.000-07:00

New book for Lit: Little Big Man, by Thomas Berger.
I'm liking the style, so far (I'm only a few pages in.) The characters are really funny, and the part that sticks out the most so far is that the guy wants to be a Mormon, but has only heard about it through other travelers and knows nothing more about them except for the fact that they're allowed to have multiple wives. haha.

Love Medicine: By Louise Erdrich

2009-05-09T08:11:00.000-07:00

My most recent book this month is one I'm reading for Lit called Love Medicine, by Louise Erdrich, about a Native American Family. Erdrich, who is Native American herself and lives in Minnesota, writes about individual family members and their dealings with one another. They can get to be a little crazy. One man even burns his mistress's house down. Erdrich's style is provocative and worth reading, although I am a little disappointed by the decisions of the characters. But, of course, what's a book without conflict? I'm not done with it yet, but I'm having trouble finding the underlying "theme" of the book. We're supposed to answer the question, "what is love medicine, according to the novel?" And I haven't a clue what it is. It might be forgiveness, because you need a lot of it to still love such a wacko family. There's alcohol, rape, affairs, and death everywhere, and there's a lot of anger. So I guess the real solution is to just forgive, change, and move on.

2009-05-07T16:13:00.000-07:00

MEMORIES
Memory is nothing more than the past's transluscent ghost,
And yet memories are also things I hate the very most.
For memories bring back tears that, never again, should fall.

I often go back inside the cavern of my mind
Trying hard to remember what I've left behind
But sometimes I wish I couldn't remember at all.

Some shine as clear as crystal, sending waves of fear and dread
And some are thin as smoke -- like a fog inside my head.
For some reason, it's the happy ones that I cannot perceive.
These tiny glints of feeling give me reason to believe
It's the memories you have that show the past is never dead.

I see into the past... back to that blessed place
I see a special moment... see a blessed face
And I wish with all my heart to be back there.
Back to the arms of home, and its vague, but sweet carress.
I try to forget it, but I see it nonetheless.
I can't help but reminisce and say a prayer.

I pray I'll see that day again, the hope we'll reunite,
For the pictures in my head to be focused, clear, and bright.
And all amongst the agonies, regret, remorse, and pain,
With every happy memory, a hint of hope remains.
It's the hope of the future that, in this tunnel, shines a light.

And maybe I won't ever see those images I save
And I'll live my life just wishing, and trying to be brave.
Perhaps I'll see that face once more when I have passed through death.
It's for those wondrous moments that I'd give my every breath.
It's the memories I keep that help me not fear the grave.

THIS PLACE

Just one day inside this place
Brings smiles of joy across my face.
For it is here I found a trace
of something goodlike old, dark wood
And now I've learned to love this space.

Every corner, every wall
I can anticipate your call
and though you're often not there at all
I hear your voice
Like soft white noise
Echoing in every hall.

It seems you're in this air I breathe:
The atmosphere I must not leave.
These toxins oft make me believe
You're not away
You're here to stay
Your arms around me like a wreath.

The ground I place my feet upon
Is ground you've graced for oh, so long,
And though I know that you are gone
Your soul is there
In ever chair
In every voice, I hear your song.

And when I leave this memory here
And the pictures grow unclear,
I hope your face shall still appear
Within my dreams
On moonlit beams
And in my heart be always near.

Prom was AMAZING!

2009-05-05T17:34:00.000-07:00

I had the best time ever at prom! From the amazing meal, to the limo rides, to grinding with all my friends (blush), to the great music, to my cute sophomore date, to watching prince caspian at a friend's house until 4 in the morning afterward. It was fantastic.

Another Funny Thing Having to do with one of my Teachers...

2009-05-05T17:19:00.000-07:00

My old government teacher is actually in an improv club called Comedy Sportz. It's kind of a side job...

"Michael "I see London, I see" Franssen
Throws: Stones in glass houses (with his right hand)

Birthplace: Los Angeles, California

Birthday: December 26

CSZ Player since: 1991

Favorite CSZ game: Anything involving scenework and no musical styles Most likely to: Invoke class warfare as a plot point in a scene

Michael loves the Minnesota Gophers, hockey, and Minnesota Gopher hockey. People seem to find it odd that he has color-coordinated hangers and hangs up his dirty shirts, but Michael thinks they're just jealous of his organizational skills. When not indulging his theatrical hobby, Michael used to be a writer and is now a teacher. Soon he'll find another occupation that pays even less.

Calculus in under 20 minutes!!!

2009-05-05T17:14:00.000-07:00

My calc teacher today showed us a pretty funny set of videos... that was also very useful for our test tomorrow of pretty much everything we've learned the whole year. Enjoy!

Part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EX_is9LzFSY

Part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9OkFTDG4fY&feature=related

The Secret Garden

2009-05-02T05:57:00.001-07:00

Well, the Secret Garden is now officially over. And I feel absolutely nothing. Really, while everyone else cried, I just sat and watched. It's not that I wasn't sad or anything, I just didn't quite feel like it was totally over. I mean, I'd still be seeing all these people for a while, and I didn't really like being in this show anyway. Things just aren't the same now. I don't know. I'm writing a poem about it and hopefully that will make more sense than this ridiculously useless post.
I wish I could write about mundane things that happen to me and make them sound really pretty and interesting. But I really am at a loss for ideas nowadays. I feel like I'm writing just words and not actual thoughts and messages to the world. I don't want to change the world or anything, I just wish people could read my stuff and be able to think, "That is one intelligent individual." But right now all these letters I'm typing are like pointless. Ugh.

New Format

2009-04-24T12:57:00.001-07:00

I changed the format of my blog for two reasons:
1. The background of the old blog template sucked.
2. I like change.

I want to make my blog be really pretty and all that, but it's not working very well. My title needs some sprucing up and maybe I need more pictures... plus there's all that ugly black space everywhere. I'll figure it out.

Reasons Why I Like West Side Story:

2009-04-24T12:52:00.000-07:00

This used to be on my sidebar, but now it's here.

"Cuz your ma's hot for me!"
"Te adoro, Antone!"
"THAT IS MY PAPA!"
"When You're a Jet you're a Jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day!"
"Womb to tomb?" "Birth to earth!"
"You all killed them! Not with knives or guns! But with hate!"
"You forget I'M in America!"
Action -- What a cool character. Actually he's not "cool," as you find in the musical...
Anita -- Holy cow. Super woman. She's smart, pretty, passionate, and a great dancer!! I wish I was more like her!
Anita's Clothes.
Babyface -- shows that even tough gang kids can have a heart.
Doc -- what a smart guy. He sees the big picture in all the goings on. I like him.
Maria -- the first "damsel" that I actually liked. She's beautiful. So what if it's not her voice, she looks stunning and she acts like a Maria should act.
Renaldo -- If I were ever to date a puerto rican, he'd be the guy.
Riff -- How smooth is he? His voice ain't great, but man that guy can move!!
The accents of the PRs
The Balcony Scene -- much better than Shakespeare!
The dance that maria and tony do when they first meet each other
The face Tony gets when he realizes he just killed Fernando
The fact that even though these guys are street gang members, they can still do ballet!
The Getting Together dance -- HA!
The phrases "daddy-o," "oobly-oo," and "buddy boy"
The short pants all the guy's wear
The Snapping -- What a cool way to start the show! And those whistles! Man! they make it recognizable.
The Song "America" has hilarious lyrics and its power and triumph is so great it brings shivers to my spine
The song "Cool" -- amazing dance part. And I really like Ice as a character.
The Song "Dear Officer Krupke" is hilarious and it breaks the dark mood really well. "Hey! I've got a social disease!"
The Song "I feel pretty." Holy cow this song can be sung anywhere, at any time, anyplace, for any occasion. And I love songs that do that.
The Song "Maria." I want someone to sing this song to me one day, except of course it would be "Hannah."
The Song "Somewhere" has beautiful lyrics and a melody that just pops out of nowhere.
The Song "Tonight" is also very triumphant and the lyrics are genius
The way the PRs whistle "My country 'tis of thee" when Shrank kicks them out of the store.
The Wedding -- Oh, how sweet. they aren't really even getting married but it still has that presence about it. I love how they act with each other.
Tony -- What a sweetheart! It's a powerful thing to see that he'd die for his girl. Wow... It's so sad that he dies, but at least he still gets to see Maria one last time.. oh, how precious!

Forbidden Love

2009-04-20T18:41:00.001-07:00

He walks into the room
And my heart catches fire
He passes my desk
And I'm filled with desire
I want him near me

But I just don't know what to do.

Try to ignore it.

Try to sit still.

But I just can't focus

He's giving me chills

But I know that I'd die

If I ever found out that he knew...

The look of his body

The sound of his voice

He makes me surrender

I know that I haven't a choice

I'm crushing and blushing

Crawling and falling

For someone I can't even have

I know I've got it pretty bad

Fantasize, legitimize

Try to justify

These feelings I can't hide

Forbidden love I'm feeling deep inside.

My brain's like a magnet

Pulled to his shine

His lips part to speak

And I feel them on mine.

Ten feet away from me,

Still, we are worlds in between.

I see the picture of his daughter

Sitting with his wife.

How could this man be

The love of my life?

How could a man like him

Make me so weak in the knees?

I can't shake this passion

Can't make this dissolve

They say "ask your heart"

But I don't think my heart is involved...

So I'm crushing and blushing...

I just can't get my mind

Off of what he wore today

I go over again

All the words I'm gonna say

But then he comes toward me

There's a fire inside my soul.

My voice of reason dies

And my body takes control.

Face red

Brain dead

Dirty pictures fill my head

Tongue tied

Brain fried

Imagine laying by his side

Nowhere to run

Nowhere to hide

No.

Yes, I'm crushing and blushing...

Mike - Chuck

2009-04-20T18:26:00.000-07:00

I wonder

What the two of you were like

In high school...

You probably loved to laugh

Your hair was long

Blonde

Your face soft, round

And smiling.

Were you on the baseball team?

Or perhaps you would skate?

Was your girlfriend a blonde as well?

Did your friends make jokes

At how you held hands in the halls

And snuck her kisses

When you thought no one was looking?

Did you make smart-aleck comments from your desk

in the back of the room?

In hopes to impress her?

Yes

I suppose that was what you were like

Blonde hair and letter jacket

Blue eyes and high school sweethearts

back then

Would I have been one of them?

Feeling your sweet whispers in my ear?

And what about you?

You were probably a hoot!

Full of trivia, stories, and questions.

You stood in the corner

Or did you stand along the side,

Making comments when you could

Eyes glued to the paper on your lap?

Would you smile at a sweet girl in overalls

From behind your book

Afraid to say hello?

You were probably alone a lot,

Counting stars, memorizing movies, playing chess?

Fascinated by everything --

But did you worry, like me,

About fitting in?

Yes

I suppose that was what you were like

Glasses and polished shoes

Gazing at the world around you.

back then

Would I have wanted to be your friend?

Comparing math problems on a bench in the hall?

Mike.

Chuck.

Years have passed away

And Your pasts are like shadows

But I see their silliouettes

And wonder:

Who were you?

And how did you become

The heroes you are today?

Chuck

2009-04-20T18:15:00.001-07:00

Chuck.
A simple name. Short for Charles? Or did your parents only call you that when they were angry?
The first time you saw Luke Skywalker, you wanted to be him. You held your own lightsaber, gritted your teeth, and flared your lips under your round glasses. shhoom zoom! Your friends in princess gowns and pirate hats would fall, giggling, amongst the jack-o-lanterns, as you thrust your saber toward their hearts. i'm sure theirs weren't the only hearts that were broken, then. Your mother stood beside and laughed, tears in her eyes, at your play. Her own little Jedi, growing up into a fine young man.
The next year was the year she got you that cape. Superman -- no problem too big for you to fix -- nothing you cannot solve. You flew about the kitchen, a flash of red between the curtains, under the stairs. You teased your brother, flying some more, calling to him, begging for him to be a villain.
There came a time, I suppose, when the cape grew a little too small for your neck. And both you and your brother realized there were far more important things to do than play superheroes. He was caught up in his garage band, and you had homework and friends to do it with. I'm sure you often just gave them the answers and you'd then spend your time cracking jokes and making paper footballs. Of course, your friends would end up paying for their lack of studying with their test scores, but you always seemed to do well, without even cracking a book. And of course your friends would give you a hard time about it, and maybe secretly, in the back of their minds, they were waiting for the day they'd beat your science score.
Yes, the cape is gone now, but you still lived your dreams of flying and fighting crime with the doodles along your notebook margins. They weren't good, but they got the message across. There he was -- the amazing Superman -- a giant hole in his side, where the three-hole punch had earlier impaled the page. You'd end up leaving these stray sketches at the bottom of your locker, and sooner or later they'd find their way to the trash, but they were there. Superman was there, waiting to fly.

Lacrymosa

2009-03-21T13:49:00.000-07:00

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions.

Pick Your Artist: Evanescence
Are you male or female? Snow White Queen

Describe yourself: everybody's fool

How do you feel about yourself? Good Enough

Describe where you currently live: Cloud Nine

If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Anywhere

Your best friend is: Haunted

Your favorite color is: Lithium

You know: The Only One

What's the weather like: Listen to the Rain

If your life was a tv show, what would it be called? Call me when you're sober

What is life to you? Field of Innocence

What is the best advice you have to give? Lose Control

If you could change your name, what would it be? October

Your favorite food is: Imaginary

Lover All Alone

2009-03-20T20:02:00.000-07:00

Maybe i've convinced myself i've really been in love

and i've been wrong all along

for all i know the feeling and the picture that i've tried

so hard to find isn't mine

Could be its all just a waiting game

wanna share my everything

And on my own

its hard to tell my heart it will be alright

this love it holds will one day find a home

as hard as love can be

its harder still it seems

to be a lover all alone without love

Picking up the pieces makes me wonder ifi only build it all to watch it fall

the faster it can go away it means the less of me

is gone to stay and i'm ok

But lonesome tomorrow comes anyway

i'm alone for another day, another day

And on my own

its hard to tell my heart it will be alright

that this love it holds will one day find a home

as hard as love can be

its harder still it seems

to be a lover all alone without love

And on my own

its hard to tell my heart it will be alright

that this love it holds will one day find a home

as hard as love can be

its harder still it seems

to be a lover all alone without love

a lover all alone...

without love

Maybe i've convinced myself i've really been in love

but i've been wrong all along

Happy Pi Day!

2009-03-13T13:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, so it's a day early, but my favorite teacher in the world talked about pi today because tomorrow's saturday and we won't be in school. Did you know that according to the bible, the number for pi is 3, not 3.14 etc? little-known fact. Another fact, in 1947 the computer was able to compute a couple thousand digits of pi and it took 70 hours. Now we have over 3 trillion digits for pi. That's a ton.

Here's just a portion of pi...

3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419719399375105820974945923078164062862089986280348253421170679821480865132823066479384460955058223172359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948949303819644288109756659334461284756482337867831652712019091

Now for 3 more amazing songs I've discovered today:

"Poker Face" by Lady Gaga. I love her style, her independence, and her techno-mod music.

"Curse of Curves" by Cute is What We Aim For. This song is catchy and the guy who sings it sounds nothing like the way he looks, which is kind of cool.

"The Saltwater Room" by Owl City. It's a song I found on thesixtyone.com. It's a cute song and the lyrics are very down to earth. There's a guy and a girl and it's just very sweet music.

2009-03-12T12:36:00.001-07:00

I got a full-tuition scholarship to BYU. Yay!
I've got a B in Econ. Nay!

Some cool songs:

"Elegy" by Leaves' Eyes
A good beat. Although her voice leaves much to be desired, I can sing it and it sounds good to me. The driving guitar in the second bridge is nice.

"Next to You" by Jordyn Sparks
The lyrics are sweet and of course Jordyn's got some pipes. It's a cute song that's good for easy listening.

"Desolation Row" by My Chemical Romance
A recent radio single. Quite anthem-like. It's not the best they do, but it's a pretty good one that depicts their new sound that they have.

GOOD THINGS!

2009-02-17T13:10:00.000-08:00

Some VERY GOOD THINGS that have turned my life around today:

1. I got accepted to Brigham Young University... pretty much the only school I will let myself go to. It's like a load has been taken off my shoulders.
2. I lost my ipod today, but someone very honest found it and gave it to the librarians. I am so glad that there is good in the world. This has been a miracle.
3. I curled my hair and I think I look pretty good in it.
4. I got 80 percent on my Economics test, and I thought I did much worse than that.
5. I found this new band called the Romanovs and I really like them.

My Hero

2009-02-15T19:36:00.000-08:00

I shall greatly miss working with him.

Problems... Solutions... and Good Things.

2009-02-12T15:02:00.000-08:00

I had a bit of an epiphany a few days ago...

I am not a happy person right now.
And now I know why!!

It's because I am not succeeding as much as I used to. Things that once were very easy to me are now a little harder to get. I see it in lots of areas of my life. So I think I'm going to take a minute to complain about each of my failures (or should I say, non-successes) and then think of something good about those areas... that way, I'll get a chance to vent and then a chance to think positive.
Oh, and I think I'll add possible solutions to my problems as well.

First, there's grades. Economics and Calculus are getting a little harder for me. Particularly economics, where I'm getting a solid B+... and I never get Bs. Calculus is weighted funny, so even though I have 90%, it says I have a B+. I'm panicked about them, even though I'm only a few weeks into the semester. I got a 4.0 last semester, and it felt wonderful to look at my grades and give a sigh of relief. I want to get another 4.0 again... that's my goal. But so far I'm sucking at it. A possible solution? Maybe STUDYING REALLY HARD is a good idea... maybe talk to my econ teacher about what I can do to bring my grade up. I just need to devote more time to it. And don't forget to do the homework. One good thing about my grades: I'm getting high A's in all my other classes, including physics and literature, which is a good sign. Also, it's still the beginning of the semester, so I have plenty of time to improve my scores.

Next, performance. I didn't get Lily, and now I don't get featured in Bedshaped... my favorite song we're doing in Freestyle. I'm upset. Whenever I hear other people singing the parts I want, I feel like I'm going to cry. I'm sick of being just an alto. I'm sick of being a minor part. I want to shine and get a chance to show the world what I've got before I give up performance altogether. I feel like I'm being cast aside. It's frustrating. Solutions: Work hard on Orinoco Flow, the song I'm arranging for Freestyle, so that I have something to show off at the end of the year. Also, do well as Rose and as an alto. Just do my best in all I can. Then I'll try out for Sweeney Todd this summer. Maybe then I'll get a chance to shine... Then again, maybe not. That's another solution I have. Just accept what I've got and stop complaining about what I don't have. A good thing about my performance: I WAS Jessica, and I'm IN freestyle and secret garden. Gotta remember what I do have.

Next, friends. I feel like they aren't as good of friends as they used to be. They seem to always be yelling at me and telling me to quit worrying about stuff. It's no fun being around them anymore. The friends I do want don't want to be friends with me. I don't really know what to do. What I REALLY want to do is totally start over. Make a better impression for myself. Meet some new people. But at this point, there isn't much I can do there. Solutions: Talk to people. Find opportunities to hang out and converse and socialize. Maybe tell my friends how I feel. I mean, I understand that I have problems, but if all they say is "Relax, Hannah," apparently that's not helping. Tell them that. Good thing: I got to know people in Showcase really well. And there's always the Angel, who doesn't know me at all yet, that I can still get a chance with. Keep flirting, keep working. And just hold it out until summer, when your college friends come back... and then there's college where you REALLY get to start over.

Random Fairy Tale

2009-02-11T09:38:00.001-08:00

Once upon a time, there was a young man named Edward who lived with his father and his dog in a forest. He was a good young man. Every day he would go out into the forest and chop wood for his father, who made cabinets. Edward was not a great woodchopper. He was small and not too strong. Each day, when he came back to his father with the small number of logs he had managed to chop, his father would sigh. "If only my son were stronger," he would say. Edward was very sad when this happened.
One day, while the boy and his dog were chopping wood, there was a pitiful cry from somewhere deeper into the forest. "I wonder who that could be," the boy said. "It sounded like a woman."
Edward and the dog followed the sound. They went deeper and deeper into the wood, until finally he came upon a giant castle. It was surrounded by a deep moat, and it had a door that had no handle. The cry was even louder now, as he approached the vast structure. As he tried to cross the drawbridge, a troll suddenly appeared and pushed the boy away. "You are not entering my palace today!!" the troll cried.
"But there is a woman inside and she needs help!"
"The princess is mine, and you are a fool!" the troll replied. Then, with a wave of his hand, he and the drawbridge disappeared.
"Help! Help!" the woman called from within the castle. Edward knew he just had to help the princess, but how? He pitifully slumped against a tall, tall tree and began to cry.
It was then that Edward's dog began to speak. "You have been such a loyal master all my life. I know a way to repay you for your kindness," the dog said. "I see a key, up high in that tree you are leaning against. Maybe if you can get it, it will unlock the door to the castle."
Edward thought it was worth a try, so he began to climb. Up and up he went. The higher he got, the scarcer the branches became. Finally, when he was only a few feet away, he found that he could go no further. The branches were too small, and he was too weak to hold himself up without their support. Edward began to weep. He could see the key, dangling just out of reach. If only he could get it!
Then, from up in the sky, three white birds flew down toward Edward. "You have climbed so far and done so much already. You deserve some help. We will fly you the rest of the way up, so you can get the key!" Then the birds lifted Edward up by his suspenders and carried him to the top of the tree. Edward reached out, and the key was his.
"Now what must I do?" he asked.
"Swim across the moat! Swim across the moat!" the birds chanted as they flew away.
Edward looked down into the river that surrounded the castle. It looked very deep, and very wide. Despair filled him again. He would never make it across.
"You can always try," his dog said.
So Edward took a deep breath, and plunged into the moat.
The water was deep indeed, and very cold. Edward shivered as he began to push himself through the waves, but it wasn't long before his limbs began to ache. He was only halfway there when he realized he could go no further, and he began to sink.
Then, three silver fish swam up to his side. "You have swum so far and done so much already. You deserve some help. We will swim you the rest of the way across so you can reach the palace!" And with that, the fish dove down and hoisted Edward across the treacherous waves. Finally, he was on solid ground, just outside the castle.
"You are almost there!" the dog called from across the moat. "Now all you must do is open the door!"
Edward turned toward the large, wooden door. There was no handle or latch -- no way to get in at all. Edward let out a desperate wail. All this work, and there no way he could ever get in! He fell to the floor and began to sob, uncontrollably.
Then Edward was startled to hear the voice of the princess from just beyond the door. "There is a latch here on the inside! If you can find a way to get me the key, I can open it and free myself!"
Edward leaped up. He tried to get the key in from under the door, but there was no crack wide enough. He looked at all the windows, but they were too high. After an hour of searching, Edward was ready to give up. Was there any way at all to get the key inside? It was impossible! "I am just not clever enough!" he cried.
"Yes, there is!" said a small voice at his feet. Edward looked down and saw the face of a tiny mole staring up at him. You have thought for so long and done so much. You deserve some help. Give me the key, and I will burrow under the door and give it to the princess!"
Edward thankfully gave the key to the mole, and within a few short minutes, he heard the lock unlatch on the inside of the castle. Then, before his eyes, was a beautiful maiden in a golden gown. Edward fell immediately in love with the princess and soon afterward, they were wed. With the princess's fortune, Edward never had to chop wood again.

2009-02-08T05:53:00.001-08:00

Some shots of me from the Variety Show...

2009-02-06T12:53:00.000-08:00

I didn't get Lilly. Surprise, surprise.
I'm Rose, a minor character. I guess I just have to accept the fact that my directors are hypocrites. They promise me the world, and I end up with nothing. They tell me, "next year is the year for you," and then they cut me down for another girl who's not that much better than me. They play things safe by picking the same people over again, rather than take a chance on me... even though they know that there's not that much risk. Ugh.

The good news, though, is that I'm a really big part in the variety show, which is playing now. I'm practically the star. I'm the only one with lines, and I get two solos all to myself. Yay! Everyone says I'm doing very well.

Oh, and I have another male that I would like people to be aware of. I'm calling him Angel, because he's got the voice of an angel. He's in The Secret Garden, and he's adorable. I want him to like me, so I'm practicing my newfound flirting skills on him at this moment in time. Maybe this time it will work.

New Semester

2009-01-21T05:09:00.000-08:00

Okay... new semester.
1. Physics. Boring. Going to hate it. We have to do a lot of computerized homework, and I don't like that. I'm a big fan of paper note-taking, listening to lectures, and actively discussing in class. Not a fan of testing myself through a screen that has no idea what I'm thinking.
2. Band, Choir, and Freestyle are pretty much the same.
3. CIS American Literature. I don't think I'm going to like my teacher... not compared to my comp teacher, who was very laid back and understanding. This guy seems tough... and hard to read. But the class itself seems very interesting. We read a lot of books and analyze them... lots of notes taken. Yay!! So yeah... Literature is still up in the air for me.
4. Economics. My teacher in this class seems pretty nice. And it seems like the class will challenge me enough. The only problem is I really miss my government class!! There's someone in that class *hint hint* that I really won't get to see very much now that I've moved out, and that makes me upset. Plus I got used to government. Very used to it.
5. The Athlete is in my Calculus class!! So excited!!! I have a few friends who know about my infatuation with him, and they almost planned it out so that we'd sit next to each other... They keep on dropping hints about it, though. And I get embarrassed. Plus I still get to keep the most amazing teacher ever for calculus. And it turns out that I got the highest final score in my class last semester. Which is absolutely great!! I almost thought my teacher was joking when he told me, but I really did get only three wrong.
So... even though I'm a little depressed about government, the Athlete and my high final grade in Calculus makes everything else worthwhile. Now I have something to look forward to every day!!!

Secret Garden Callbacks

2009-01-20T05:15:00.000-08:00

Once again, it was me versus another girl who has the same name as me. She did very well, but my director said she had trouble showing emotion. I, on the other hand, showed too much, apparently. I am not too confident; it's better to aim low and get higher than aim high and end up getting shot down like a bird. It's not like this hasn't happened before, either. Memories of Camelot come to mind. At this point, my director has already promised me a spot in this show, and he's also said that it is likely for me to get a bigger part, but there's always my work schedule to consider, and once again, it's not like I've ever proven myself to be better than that other girl.
But other than that, callbacks went pretty well. I feel sorry for this one guy who was like bawling because he was sent home halfway through. Then his car broke down. poor thing.
I have a really good friend who might get martha. What's funny is that she and I are kind of depending on the other to not get a part. The other "helena" was also on the ticket for martha. If she gets lily, and I don't, then my friend gets martha... which would be a blessing for her. So I guess it's not a total loss if I don't get the part I want. Whatever. I don't want to think about it until the cast list comes up. I don't know when that's going to be...

Three-Day Weekend

2009-01-18T12:17:00.000-08:00

So I found out yesterday that I am playing the part of Jessica in this Variety show my music teacher created. I have to sing a Britney Spears song, "Dear Diary." I don't quite know what to think about it. It's a pretty big honor to be given this role... but there were other songs/roles I wanted that I probably won't get now. I have to play an eighth-grade girl who's obsessed with boys and talks like a ditz... that's not me at all. But I guess that's what acting is. It's making yourself into someone else. It's not being someone else. It's becoming someone else. Like that person is you. I don't know. But still, I guess it's a pretty good deal for me.
Secret Garden auditions are tomorrow. I'm really excited. I talked to my director about my work schedule and such, and it turns out that he is really considering me for a big part this year. I hope it's Lily!!! She's not the main character, but a pretty important one with some really pretty songs. I'm very prepared for the audition. I guess I'll see what happens.
My parents are in Puerto Rico this week... which means I'm pretty much the rule of the roost around here for a time. Yeah, there's my grandma too, but she just sleeps all day. I'm in for a big week...

Finals...

2009-01-16T19:27:00.001-08:00

Finals weren't bad at all this year.
Why? Well, I actually studied.
My experience this year with finals has taught me a few things:
1. Take notes. Lots of em. Even things you think you'll remember. Write as much as possible... particularly when your prof is giving a lecture about something. It's bound to be on tests...
2. Actually read your notes. Highlight the most important stuff. Then read through them again, except this time only the highlighted parts.
3.When studying for comprehensive finals, look for the big stuff. Major equations, main ideas, broad definitions.
4. Don't do facebook, talk to people, or anything when studying. Music should be playing quietly in the background. The television should be off. You need a place you can focus so things can sink in.
5. Cramming is helpful, but it's good to prepare early for this kind of stuff. A week before the final, start reading over stuff.
6. Finals are usually not as hard as they sound. You'll be surprised at how much your brain can recall.

Don't Ask.

2009-01-16T18:52:00.001-08:00

You're not supposed to have any idea what this is about... deal with it.

I don't know what to think.
I'm shaking.
Why am I shaking?
I feel sick.
I am sick.
I think my mind is sick...
Pleasant...
Strange.
So, so strange...
My cheek feels something that's not there...
Golden
Please don't laugh
Because that's the one thing I wish you wouldn't do.
I can't think straight.
Can't fill in simple bubbles...
Caught offguard
By feelings
I shouldn't... couldn't...
feel.
But here I am welcoming them.
What's wrong with me?

2009-01-03T21:00:00.000-08:00

I got a new Ipod for Christmas, and it is excellent. It's orange, but when I put a black sheath over it it looks really cool... sort of halloweeny. It's so thin. I'm surprised that something that tiny can hold two thousand songs... twice as much as my older, thicker ipod could hold. And the picture is so big, i can see the whole cd cover in it. It's very nice. My music just sounds that much cooler when it plays on this thing. And then I got a dock for it as well... subwoofer speakers with a remote that has a MUTE BUTTON!! yaya. that means no swear words. The dock's also got a cd player and plays the radio as well. the only thing it doesn't have is a tape deck, but that's fine. So yeah, those are my new toys for this christmas.

Thaddeus leaves on tuesday. he texted me at six thirty today to ask if I was back in town and if I wanted to go to ruby tuesdays. I couldn't because I have to work on this ridiculous government paper that I hate. ugh. But after I get some thoughts down, I'll close for the night and work on it tomorrow. yes. and then I'll double-check it monday before I turn it in. Noice.

I feel much more ready for school, for some reason, even though I still don't have orinoco done and i haven't written in my journal in a month and I have variety show, secret garden auditions, and work comin' up. yikes. but i'll muddle through, I guess.

This has been a ridiculously stupid post. But it was worth getting some thoughts down. Maybe I should be actually writing in my other journal.

Some Words of Wisdom from Neal A. Maxwell

2008-12-28T08:00:00.000-08:00

For an English assignment, I had to read a religious book. My mom found for me this random book my grandma gave her called, "One More Strain of Praise." It was by a member of the quorum of the twelve, so I decided to give it a whirl. Turns out this book is pretty darn AMAZING. Maxwell has such a clever and intellectual writing style. He uses lots of poetry in his words and there are tons of great anecdotes he uses as well. And the content of the book -- the insight he gives about God and our role here as his children -- is also VERY inspiring. I've learned so much. So I thought I'd share with you some of the points that I found particularly eye opening. Some of these ideas are ones I have had all along, but haven't found a good way to express them in words. Maxwell does it for me with perfect conciseness. Read on...

- "Irony, the hard crust on the bread of adversity, can try both our faith and our patience."

- He stuns you by degrees --
Prepares your brittle Nature
For the Etherial Blow
By fainter Hammers -- further heard --
Then nearer -- Then so slow
Your Breath has time to straighten --
Your Brain -- to bubble Cool --
Deals -- One -- imperial -- Thunderbold --
That scalps your naked Soul --
-- Emily Dickinson, poem 315

- "How difficult it is to teach the natural man, who comprehends nothing more than that which he sees with the natural eye! ... Talk to him about angels, heavens, God, immortality, and eternal lives, and it is like sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal to his ears; it has no music to him; there is nothing in it that charms his senses, soothes his feelings, attracts his attention, or engages his affections, in the least."
-- Brigham Young

- 'For one thing, discernment is vital. The eminent historian Will Durant wrote of the human need for perspective and proportion in order "to know that the little things are little, and the big things big, before it is too late; we want to see things now as they will seem forever -- 'in the light of eternity.'"'

- "Therefore we should not let murmuring -- even clever murmuring -- undercut good cheer by our half-suppressed resentments or muttered complaints. We all remember in Fiddler on the Roof Tevye's verbal asides to God. Since the ultimate "Addressee" of some of our murmuring is clearly the Lord, as when the people complained against Moses, at least Tevye honestly acknowledged to Whom he addressed his complaints."

- "The Humanitarian theory wants simply to abolish Justice and substitute Mercy for it.... Mercy, detached from Justice, grows unmerciful. That is the important paradox. As there are plants which flourish only in mountain soil, so it appears that Mercy will flower only when it grows in the crannies of the rock of Justice: transplanted to the marshlands of mere Humanitarianism, it becomes a man-eating weed, all the more dnagerous because it is still called by the same name as the mountain variety."
-- C.S. Lewis

- "Moreover, if we love God with all of our heart, might, mind, and strength, this requires one's intellectual surrender to God, too. Alas, while still too few, there are still comparatively more knees bent in reverence to God than there are minds. Hence there are more people who partially keep the second commandment than truly keep the first. It is the first commandment that sets the high tone and the standards, enabling the second to be 'like unto' it. Otherwise, every man would walk in his own way and do his own thing, which might include some useful -- but sidebar -- service to his fellow mortals."

- "The Restoration, among other things, removes stumbling blocks and provides much additional truth concerning both the character of the Father and the nature of His plan for His children. Elder George Q. Cannon observed: 'There is in the plan of salvation, which God our heavenly Father has revealed, perfect love, mercy and justice, and every other attribute which pertains to the character of Deity are perfectly illustrated in the plan of salvation which he has revealed for man's guidance.' Nevertheless, Elder Cannon lamented, 'The difficulty today is, that the people do not believe that God is a being of this character.'"

- "Mercy, even so, is not naivete. Nor is it uncaring indulgence. Nor is mercy to be mistaken for today's standardless and indulgent tolerance. Divine mercy has its fixed divine standards intact.

- "In our time, as in Lot's of old, we are vexed by many things, including profane and filthy conversation. We hear intrusive things we wish we would not hear and which we must dismiss and deflect in order to give 'no heed.' Sometimes giving rebuke or actually leaving such company are clearly called for."

- "One important way, therefore, in which the Church is to be 'independent' involves distancing ourselves from the philosophies and persuasions of men, an d from the encompassing and enveloping ways of secular societies. Secularism recruits so easily, because so many mortals 'will not endure sound doctrine,' but come to prefer the easier and more fashionable 'commandments of men.' But, of course, the fashions of the world will pass away. It will be interesting to see, for instance, how long America can sustain an inspired and constraining Constitution, if more of the people it governs become persistently permissive. Will what is now the 'lesser part' reach a critical, negative mass?

- "It is not surprising that today's surrounding secularism has firmly partnered with relativism in an alliance of dalliance. Secularism sincerely practices what it preaches. Centuries ago there occurred an episode which parallels some of the secular trendiness in our own time. Opinion leaders back then proclaimed:
... there could be no atonement made for the sins of men, but ever man fared in this
life according to the management of the creature; therefore every man prospered
according to his genius, and that ever man conquered according to his strength; and whatsoever a man did was no crime.
And thus he did preach unto them, leading away the hearts of many, causing them
to lift up their heads in their wickedness, yea, leading away many women, and also men, to commit whoredoms -- telling them that when a man is dead, that was the end thereof. (Alma 30: 17-18)
Such is this ethical relativism at the end of its journey, and it is similar in each era! Nothing is really wrong. Therefore, it is all right to conquer and prosper by one's strength and genius as we witness and indulgent individualism instead of real brotherhood.
Strange, isn't it, how once people stop believing in God they want to start playing God. Or is it? In any case, some so misread their circumstances because they do not see 'things as they really are.'"
Illustrative of poor perspective of another type is the fact that, after jealously slaying Abel, Cain cried out in a pathetic outburst of self-deception, 'I am free,' but he was never less so! Like Pilate's trying to wash his hands in vain, and like Hitler's careful efforts to keep his name off certain Holocaust documents, so today many do not really want the consequences of what they want. But in God's inexorable ecology consequences do come, accompanied by severe individual accountability. Steep costs are levied on a declining people!"

- So there is a clear friction between agency and opposition, but it is a necessary friction, if we are to progress. Hence knowing the truth about divine standards and then choosing aright is essential to our growth and happiness and freedom, but we will feel the friction! Moreover, if things were in a 'compound in one,' we could not learn from our mortal experiences, because we would not experience the opposites. Furthermore, we could not be held accountable either, because no real and clear choices would be before us, given the 'compound' circumstance. Individuality would be inert!"

- "Brigham Young observed that 'there is no music in hell.' Doubtless a correct statement as to real music! But some contemporary sounds, masquerading as music, belong quite naturally to that grim place, where their presence would further entitle that awful place to be called hell!"

- Thus, given God's plan and agency's vital role in it, we must ever be on guard against today's trends and patterns, however carefully they are camouflaged, in which operative agency is severely diminished, such as when some seek to avoid or to deny personal accountability or to say there are really no fixed values. Ethical relativism can thereby lead to a type of a 'compound in one' by an undifferentiated life or simply by ruling out moral absolutes and thereby encouraging every man to walk in his own way.
There is a deep irony in the sameness of sinners who think they are individualistic. They have given away, at least temporarily, their agency and their capacity for joy, living life on a single plane; or, more descriptive still, some march like lemmings down the slope to the gulf of misery.
The ultimate consequences will be real and harsh, because
'that which breaketh a law, and abideth not by law, but seeketh to become a law unto itself, and willeth to abide in sin, and altogether abideth in sin, cannot be sanctified by law, neither by mercy, justice, nor judgment. Therefore, they must remain filthy still.'
A powerful magnetism is thus quietly at work in what at first may seem to be mere philosophical differences. Nevertheless, these result in converging and sad consequences: 'And if ye shall say there is no law, ye shall also say there is no sin.' Those who deny the existence of any absolutes in their own ways fulfill this scripture, as situational ethics prevail."

- "Some demand as evidence of His existence that God intervene to stop the terrible consequences of our bad choices.
Once again, the wisdom of President Joseph F. Smith comes to the fore. He observed of human suffering that nevertheless God 'permits' choices to be made by humans of which He clearly doesn't approve.
Besides, without an 'opposition in all things,' where are the isometrics required for individual development, such as when the new self is pitted against the old? Consider this simple illustration by scientist Alan Hayward of behavior when forced by 'compulsory means':
' Suppose for a moment that God made his presence felt all the time -- that every action of ours, good or bad, brought an immediate response from Him in the form of reward or punishment. What sort of a world would this be then?
It would resemble, on a grander scale, the dining room of a hotel ... where I once stayed for a few days. The European owner evidently did not trust his ... waiters. He would sit on a raised platform at one end of the room, constantly watching ever movement. Goods that might possibly be pilfered, such as tea bags, sugar knobs and even pats of butter or margarine, were doled out by him in quantities just sufficient for the needs of the moment. He would scrutinize every bill like Sherlock Holmes looking for signs of foul play.
The results of all this supervision were painfully obvious. I have stayed in many hotels around the world ... but never have I met such an unpleasant bunch of waiters as in that hotel. thier master's total lack of trust in them had warped their personalities. As long as he was watching they acted discreetly, but the moment they thought his guard was down they would seize the opportunity to misbehave.
In much the same way, it would ruin our own characters if God's presence were as obvious as that of the [hotel owner]. This would then be a world without trust, without faith, without unselfishness, without love -- a world where everybody obeyed God because it paid them to do so. Horrors!'"

- "Of course our individual patterns of genes, circumstances, and environments matter very much, for these do impinge upon us and do shape us and our choices significantly. Yet there remains an inner zone in which we are accountably sovereign. In this zone lies the essence of our individuality."

- "We cannot say that [God] would like to help but cannot: God is omnipotent. We cannot say that he would help if he only knew: God is omniscient. We cannot say that he is not responsible for the wickedness of others: God creates those others. Indeed an omnipotent, omniscient God [who creates all things absolutely -- i.e., out of nothing!] must be an accessory before (and during) the fact to ever human misdeed; as well as being responsible for every non- moral defect in the universe."
-- Antony Flew

- "In fact, while God has given us so many enabling gifts in addition to the gift of life, the only real gift we can actually give Him is to submit our will to His. therefore, if a plan opposite to the Lord's plan had prevailed, it would not only have abrogated our agency; it would also have prevented us from giving God the one precious gift, our wills! It is the only one we can really give to Him that is not already His!"

-- "Correction can be such a blessing in life! Sometimes, however, it comes as a very well-disguised blessing."